Nadia

Clouds don't pass me by

2011-01-18T21:10:00.002+08:00

So, I've finally reached the last paper of what felt like an eternity, and now, I'm excited that things are gonna change. I've planned my entire spring festival break through and through, and I swear, there will never be a dull moment. I am proud to say that Nearly RM3000 ringgit later, I will do a whole lot of flying in the next month.

I've blogged about this earlier, but still, I wanna say it again. Malaysia, Thailand, Hong Kong and Guangzhou. Who knew I would actually start being a tourist alone. It's gonna be my first time leaving the country and doing all those silly-billy sightseeing things, and boy am I excited. I don't know what there is to see in Hong Kong, but I'm looking forward to having Temily take me around.

Just thought i'd drop by and get things off my chest.

Ta!

Fix me, please oh please

2011-01-14T14:42:00.002+08:00

I should be worried. I should be full on, staring at my books and trying to understand. But here I am, wasting my one week break in between the exams on Facebooking, downloading movies and songs and watching youtube videos. I have decided that I am officially broken. I am unfixable.

I am immune to pain. I'm numbed and can't feel fear. I've sat for 4 papers thus far, and I didn't freak out for any of them even though I wasn't prepared at all. So far, all the papers have been a complete mess, and I don't even think I'll be able to pass any of them. Yet, I haven't sat down and cried about it. I just return to my room and sleep. I am broken. And I have someone to blame.

Nad.

Current mood: Depressed

2011-01-10T19:12:00.000+08:00

From the title alone, we can clearly see the angle I'll be blogging today.

I reflect on life. I stare at walls. I spent 5 minutes in front of the mirror, staring at myself wondering how I can be the bitch that I am.

I.am.depressed.

I've been speaking to people. Sort of. I try to make myself feel better by telling myself that what I do is part of growing up and part of what will make me into a person that learns. I give up again. Time and time again, I return to this feeling that I am a complete mess. Every year, I go through the same old routine of wondering if going to a shrink should be an option to get over my depression. I go through suicide possibilities in my mind and wonder if people will even care if I go into the light. And then I speak to people again who persuade me that everyone else in the world feels alone. I believe them for a couple of days, and then go back to a major withdrawal.

I tried to deactivate my facebook account. I did it. And I don't think anyone noticed. Yesterday, I suddenly received an email in my hotmail account from Facebook saying "Welcome back to Facebook" when I did no such thing. Its either someone tried hacking into my account, or in some messed up way, I can never really fall through on what I want in life. I've been driving my depression further to the bone by watching Grey's anatomy episodes, all involving failed relationships and how they try to move on in life to find true love. Way to go Nadia.

I want it all. I want the great boyfriend who adores me. I want the great career. I want the awesome supportive family. I want the concerned friends. I want to be able to go onto Facebook and receive notifications telling me that people missed me. Sadly enough, I know I can't have it all.

Life sure does suck.

Good luck for your paper in less than 24 hours nad. You're sure going to kill it.

The best ways to entertain yourself

2010-12-31T22:37:00.004+08:00

Ah, how I appreciate my laptop right now. It has helped me entertain myself for the past few hours. Webcamming is so awesome.

Happy New Years peeps! Lets hope next year involves me realising that I'm older, and I should act it. For those who don't know, I broke up with Therry after getting back together with him, and it's my fault things ended. Just thought I'd start the new year with me being completely honest and taking the blame for the mistakes I have made. To Therry, I miss you and still love you dearly, though I don't think we'll be romantically involved ever again. As to everyone else, family and friends - you know who you are - I miss you all and really wish I could be with you all on this day. I've decided to scratch the whole 12 grapes thing I've been doing for nearly 5 years now due to the fact that I've lost my belief in luck.

2011 sees me turning 21. The so-called age of maturity where I can finally do things and be responsible for it. Maybe its fine time I stop watching cartoons and behave like an adult.

right. Like that'll happen.

Ta!

My Christmas Eve

2010-12-24T21:46:00.009+08:00

So, I arrived a couple of hours ago, and while I should really be studying, I'm not, because of this stupid cold I'm having and this constant coughing. So, instead, I spend the day with my heater under the sheets and my lappie, finishing off all the movies I've downloaded so that when I do decide to study, nothing will be around to distract me. Looking at it, I now know of a few movies people should never watch.

1. Cherrybomb - Starring Rupert Grint

2. Southland Tales - Starring Justin Timberlake, Mandy Moore, Dwayne Johnson

3. Wall Street - Starring Shia LaBeof

As for movies that I think are good, I would definately recommend Going the distance, Easy A and Ramona and Beezus. I'm back to the whole romance genre of movies considering I screwed up any possibility of even being in a relationship again. I've been trying to write up an apology but I keep coming up short.

Sigh.

I wish words would come as easily as it does for blogging.

When we're through

2010-12-20T09:20:00.002+08:00

As I have embraced the Malaysian air for more than a week now, I finally realise why I left in the first place. Of course, with all the joy and blissful happiness practically oozing out of my family's skin during my cousin's wedding, I can say that the one thing I did miss was being able to chill out with everyone without a care in the world.

As for now, I'm beginning to fret AGAIN that the earth will be turning a year older technically once again. 2010 has been a major bitch to me.

January was beyond awesome

May made me lose hope

August tested my health

October gave me a sense of confidence

November confused me

and December,

well. December,

Maybe December should never exist sometimes.

To 2010.

Thanks.

No seriously, thanks.

Going down

2010-11-30T18:00:00.002+08:00

9 days en-counting till I go back to Malaysia and I'm getting more and more excited till my studies have come to a complete halt. I've been skipping classes a lot more this sem, which isn't something that's so good, but the fact that my room has become so cosy and that in bed I feel so snug AND that the temperature outside has been dropping by the minute, sacrificing a class or two has not put much of a toll on my conscience.

For the past week, I've been wasting my time by trying to finish off all the seasons of Smallville which is taking some time considering that there's 10 seasons worth of it. It's not exactly the best thing to watch because each episode is an hour's worth, and I'm running low on time before I leave.

Anyways, today I decided to start talking to my beloved brader from another mather after such a long time and it got me thinking about my family. Since I've arrived here in Ningbo, my family has matured so much. The split that occurred with the 4 of us has been healed with distance surprisingly. I would have thought that the 4 of us being all over the globe would mean that talking to each other would be very dry and lack content, but all of us have been doing very well with it. Must be because of our history of constantly being apart anyways. I'm actually anticipating our reunion because of the months apart. Yes, I was in a lot more contact with mom and dad but I think in Malaysia we'll face a bigger obstacle because there would be other people around us that tend to attract more of our attention, i.e. friends, family, boyfriends. Being here, I've re-evaluated my priorities and now I realise that if I had to choose between them and anyone else, I would now choose them (unless it was something that was super super super not worth missing)

Something amazing has happened to me recently and I've indulged a secret to the closest of my friends and while I expected them to respond with disgust, most of them have backed me up saying that any decisions I make while being here may be biased, nonetheless, it is a decision that I made, not one coerced on me. I love all you people very much, and thank you for your support.

Till the next time,

Ta!

The Remedy

2010-11-24T18:02:00.002+08:00

So right now, I'm a little glum. As to the reason why, nothing seems to come to mind. Nothing upsetting has really happened in past few weeks, so I can't seem to track down reasons. Nonetheless, here I am right now, blogging, trying to figure out why.

Exam dates have just arrived and technically, I'm slightly disappointed. My first paper is on the 10th and the last is on the 20th. Dad's just booked my flight back to the motherland for the 26th, so I've got 6 days in between to sit down and bum. The other Malaysian exchange students are trying to make plans to head to Hangzhou on the last few days before the flight to have a lil "holiday" fun. The ones heading to UK have to rush through everything since their last papers end later than mine, and yet, they need to be in UK on the 23rd.

I've officially bought all the tickets I need for my CNY break. Thus far, the plan goes as follows:

Leave Hangzhou on the 26th.

Stay in KL and then leave to Bangkok on the 7th of Feb.

Spend a week chilling and living the "Thai" life till the 15th of Feb, and then head off to meet my cousin, Temily, who I can't wait to spend time with.

Probably spend 2 days there and then go to Guangzhou to meet her boyfriend, Joseph.

Then, head off to Campus on the 19th/20th, depending on how keen I am on skipping my first day of classes.

It's definitely an exciting adventure looking ahead for me, as it will be my first time doing some major travelling, ALONE. I'm in love with the idea, but its making me completely broke. Thanks to some loan suggestions from my dad, I'm covered for now, but that just means that for the rest of 2011, I'll be using most of money to pay him back as well as come up with funds for the next Setafire camp in Thailand.

Ah, yes.

Here I go again, talking about things way before it even comes close to beginning. I speak about my travels for CNY when in a mere 16 days, I'll be back at home again, spending time with my favourite 3 people: mom, dad and good old jie. We spoke on skype a couple of days ago and discussed our diabolical plan of spending time with just the family. Didn't work so well since dad was never so interested in spending time with him immediate family. With much persuasion, we've worked out a schedule to fit in family time out of the 13 days I'll be home, taking into consideration the fact that there will be Winter School, the wedding as well as the entire extended family being in the country.

My parents are heading for India and are coming back on the 9th of Dec.

I return on the 1oth of Dec.

Jie returns on the 11th of Dec.

Funky schedule, huh? And we just couldn't get flights to arrive on the same day.

Lol.

Ta!

The Outside

2010-11-13T16:51:00.003+08:00

It's been nearly 30 hours since I've left my room I now call home. 30 hours have fluttered by, and I've spent most of it ACTUALLY putting my nose in my books. I devised a well-thought out study plan, allowing opportunity for me to rest on days where classes are a little heavier than the average day. Studying for nearly 4 hours for today, I'm starting to see numbers. I'm bummed that I lack a life forcing me to hardly see the outside world.

Now, to all those faithful readers out there, here is an update. Clearly, nothing has happened to me since my last post. I spent deepavali eve with some friends at an indian restaurant shisha-ing, and that's it. Classes have been here and there. Things have mixed up cause some lecturers seem to be cancelling and postponing their classes out of the blue. I went to Shanghai 2 weeks ago to visit the folks. Family had decided to visit us there and I had the opportunity to see my dad's eldest brothers, minus the 25 other cousins I have. It felt odd to have them around me without anyone young around me. I was successful in saving money during that week thanks to the fact that daddy always loves the youngest. I didn't have to spend a dime of my own money the entire trip :D.

As for now, I'm busy prepping for the exams that are coming up in about 2 months. Seems like I'm doing it early, but I guess a little effort doesn't hurt. I'm counting down the days till I go home since I've got a list of things I need to get done when I'm back. Hanging out with friends in my room, I accidentally spilt hot Milo on my lappie and now the keys occasionally get sticky and some of the usb thingy's are not working like they used to. Plus the fact that one of my phone keys have decided to stop working. I'm having the worst luck with technology since I got here, but I guess that's the silver lining of going home.

So, till then, ta! It's back to the books for me :)

Sometimes, crazy's alright

2010-10-24T00:01:00.002+08:00

So as another week passes by, I find myself back in front of my lappie, unconsciously clicking "create post". Looks like its finally turning into a routine!

This week has gone by particularly fast considering that tutorials have started here in school. I sigh when I think of my classes, my lecturers oh, those pesky lecturers!, and even of my own personal life. I am happy to announce I have started tutoring Book 1 with some people here. It's intriguing to talk to locals here. I feel like I have a purpose when I'm around them. I think the only problem I have behind all this is the fact that I feel like I lack the confidence and knowledge to tutor. Note: Prayers requested.

Classes have been a bore and I have begun to make it a habit to record my lectures on my phone - only because I can barely understand their English and because, if it's not used to record the lecture, you'll probably find me going online through it, searching for DIY facial masks and so on - and this makes me feel like I'm actually trying to study. :) Weeee!

Oh, yeah! I have bought tickets to go back home already! I arrive to the mainland on the 10th and will be there for 13 days. However, I fret to report that this trip is not one for leisure. Not only do I lack time because I want to help out family with prepping for the wedding, I also have to put in hours of study time because straight after, I have exams :(

But other than that, I can't think of anything to write. Currently listening to country music for some random reason, I feel like grabbing my newly acquired guitar and playing a tune, only to realise, I can only play one song. :P Haha, guess there's more for me to do now!

Ta!

As the little tyke turns a year older

2010-10-16T21:05:00.002+08:00

Finally, the feeling has hit me. Finally, the rush of emotions has come to me. Finally, I miss home.

And I owe this feeling to my beloved little one, Armand Jarrah Taraz.

Tomorrow marks his 2nd birthday, and my family did me the biggest favour of skyping me in whilst his birthday party was commencing. Themed "rainbows and soft-toys", I admired the effort put in by my fellow cousins to make his birthday another bash to remember. Flashing back to a year ago, I remember putting in the time to help decorate his cake and spending 2 hours decorating the place with tinsel and signs saying "happy birthday". I remember it well because it was a joyous occassion. Having the youngest of the Ramasamy clan to turn a year old is something we take pride in. The little boy has more love than any of us would ever dream of.

As I stared at my computer screen, watching him run back and forth through my aunt's living room, I realised that my family is truly where my heart is. My last blog entry would seem like a depressing one. But now, I can finally say, I do miss home.

Pulling off a Houdini

2010-10-10T14:09:00.002+08:00

Ah, blogger. How I miss the days where blogging came naturally, the days where I would just turn on my lappie and immediately start blogging. Where once upon a time, I had loads to say has now turned into complete silence. I think it is fine time I explain myself.

It's been more than a month now since I left home, and the good ol' Malaysia Blues has still yet to kick in. I returned home recently (and from now on, home is where my parents are) and got a little pick-me-up. Refreshed and rejuvenated with mom's constant, annoying attention, it has finally struck me as to why I don't miss home.

As we all know, I no longer have a boyfriend back in Malaysia. Anyone who actually follows me on my blog would know that. And while I am in good terms with him technically, I have no intentions of returning to that emotional state which I can only describe as hell. So boys is a definate strike off for reasons for my return to Malaysia. As for my immediate family, from here on out, my parents will be travelling, constantly. Strike them off that list too. Highschool friends have all left me to numerous places so they could become fantastic people that will make this world a better place as well as provide me with cheaper means of getting anything medical related :) My extended family is used to not having me around, and even if they aren't, I realise I wasn't exactly someone they would always turn to. My Baha'i friends have gotten used to everyone leaving, so there are no worries there.

Count that all off, and you'd see, there isn't really a reason for me to go back to Malaysia. Of course, my University friends back in notts in KL are a reason, but by majority, I feel like there is no reason for my return.

This may be depression. This may be me expressing my hatred towards my home. Or this may be my way of saying I miss home.

What matters is, if I could, I wouldn't go back.

Flyaways and Fireworks

2010-10-07T12:36:00.010+08:00

And so once again, I have returned to my regular ignorance to all things blogger related. And now that I am finally alone, with time to spare, I guess this is the time to do this.

In China for more than a month now, I can proudly say that this country is growing on me. What used to be feelings of ultimate remorse has now been turned into pure joy. I have the other exchange students to thank for that. As to making friends, I have been unsuccessful thus far, but fret not. I guess some things takes more time.

To provide an elaborate explanation on how the campus in China is would be impossible. All I can say is that if you think the Malaysia Campus makes walking from one side to the other hard, China is ten times worse. Nonetheless, I absolutely love it. Classes are a bit of a nuisance considering that I have a 4 day week schedule, one of the days having classes for only an hour in the morning and another having classes that end at 6. Lecturers rant on as usual, some in languages I barely understand. Being the optimistic person I usually am, I take their lack of command in the English language a tool to amuse myself in class.

My social life in Ningbo has been surprisingly full. Through finding myself the other Baha'i's living nearby as well as spending loads of lepak time with the other exchange students, I hardly ever get bored. The clubbing scene is fairly decent, but then again those who really do know me would say that I was never the clubbing type to begin with.

As for now, I have returned to Shanghai for the National Holidays and have brought along the entire jing-bang with me. Being the tourist I should have been a long time ago, I can now say, I have been to Shanghai!

Next on the list? Sichuan!

And now, to indulge on some of my favorite pics over the past month:

Sesudahnya sampai

2010-09-03T20:51:00.002+08:00

Yes, here I am in China. Let's hope this post doesn't get blocked off by the Chinese government. People out there, I miss ya'll so much. I dont miss home thankfully, but I do miss getting texts and calls. :( I wanna talk to people, but nobody's online half the time :(

Sigh.

People,

COME ONLINE

Without time to spare

2010-08-30T01:22:00.002+08:00

In 3 hours, I'm to get up and get going to the Airport. Hard to believe that the day has finally come. I've sent my sister off. I've made my room look like there really isn't anyone living in it. Things are as planned, just the way I like it. This is my last blog for the next 6 months, I think.

And I'd like to say my goodbyes the proper way.

Bye.

Mission Accomplished

2010-08-19T23:26:00.002+08:00

Ah, so yes. I have finally completed last week's to do list. I've had a jolly good week, seeing friends I really wanted to see after what feels like forever. Thinking it over, I feel like I've managed quite a bit in the few weeks that has passed by. As for now, all I have left is to clear my room and I'm good to go.

But today, today I devote this blog post to my bestie, Diane, who from tomorrow morning, will be in India studying dentistry. Diane, this is for you.

Dear Diane,

I owe so much to you. Next to my parents, you're pretty much one of the few people that can say that you made me become the person I am today. Without you, life would have been so much more different. We've been the best of friends for 13 years now, and thats never gonna quit. This is the first time ever that you've left me, and I'm pretty sad about it. I swear, I'll probably cry tomorrow at the airport, or crack the stupidest of jokes, whilst attempting to hide my tears. Its gonna be bad when I get back from China. No more picking up the house phone and dialling your number. No more shopping consultant. Sigh. Life without you is gonna suck.

How lah, Diane. HOW. How am I gonna go through the relationship messes that I've been through without you being there physically by my side, with your wide eyes, waiting for me to tell you my "stories"? How am I gonna secretly go out with people I don't want my parents to know, when it's a fact now that they know you're in another country? HOW I ASK YOU! Lol. But hey, I love you no matter what. You come back with an yindian accent, I sure will wallop you, but not after I give you a big fat hug.

You'll do great out there my wee friend. You've got my word there. And keep in mind, SKYPE is always around. ;P

And now, all I need to do is to pull myself together and get myself on my own plane.

Forget me not

2010-08-12T00:26:00.002+08:00

It's fine time I quit this update thing I do and get down to the dirty stuff. I've been pushing my emotions aside and its getting the best of me. I'm tired. Tired of putting on a strong face and acting like it's all okay. I think I'm breaking through all the cracks of the shield I've put before me. I'm gonna be honest right now, and I hope that's okay with those who read this blog.

I'm down to 18 days left on my countdown and as the days flutter by I panic more. I'm excited, yes, of course, but I can't help but feel the same way I did 4 years ago. I'm afraid things are gonna be exactly the same. I'm scared I'm gonna hate the country again, and I'm scared that when I come back, people are gonna say I've changed. I think the worst part about the whole moving to China thing is that I'm gonna miss everyone and everything.

I'll miss my room.

I'll miss my bed.

I'll miss having all my clothes stuffed in my closet.

I'll miss my uni friends.

I'll miss my Baha'i friends.

I'll miss my cousins.

I'll miss him.

This "leaving" thing is a lot worse than it was before. While people may think, "Gosh, she's over-reacting. It's only a year", the fact is, I'm looking at things in a long-term view. When I get back, I'll be completing my 3rd year back home in Malaysia, but after that, it's off to UK for me for a year, and then New Zealand for another year. and who knows when I'll be back after that. Me leaving in 3 weeks marks the beginning of a series of constant travel and the disability to call a specific place home.

As I think of it over and over again, things play through my mind. How things could have been had certain things this year gone as planned. I can see it: what if my UK application had been accepted, what if Therry was still apart of my life. It's funny how far off my vision for this year and how it has actually played out is. It's like God's out to get my giving me a series of bad events, throwing punches with no mercy. Though, I take this trip to China as a blessing to re-cooperate and get back on my feet. I suppose God has a bigger plan for me.

I hope he knows what he's doing, because he's costed me what meant to me the most.

21

2010-08-09T08:00:00.002+08:00

As I begin the new week there are a few things I want to get done:

1. Get rid of at least 30% of my closet, making packing for China become 20 times more easier

2. Get my friggin visa done so I never have to think about it again

3. Decide on which phone to buy: a blackberry (cheap one, of course) or a nokia xpress music 5730

4. Get an external hard drive for myself

5. Invite people for me and my sister's "farewell" party (sometimes I act like I'm never coming back)

6. Meet up with people that hardly ever see me

As for today, I'm gonna get poked and jabbed again. Darn these medical checkups. Another round of holes in my body for sure. Gawsh.

Can't believe time has flown before my eyes and I'm down to 3 weeks left in this country. I'm freaked out of my mind now. Dad just took a trunk load of my clothes to Shanghai, so my closet has been reduced (by a size of a pea). Now I have to resist buying MORE things. Doesn't help that I meet up with my old friends at malls.

Anywho, there's nothing interesting thats been happening to me lately. Since I came back from Thailand, things have been slow. Other than the occasional meet ups, I stay at home, scrawled over the floor, my head facing my lappie, watching whatever movies I can get my hands on to. As of now, I've watched at least 15 off my computer.

I so need a life.

What not to do 2 months after a breakup

2010-08-06T04:17:00.003+08:00

So I just made the biggest mistake in history: watch 2 romance movies back to back, alone. I've seen them before, I've read the books, yet still I cry. Sigh.

Dear John & A Walk to Remember.

Darn you Nicholas Sparks!

25

2010-08-05T18:34:00.002+08:00

So, with 25 days left before I leave for China, I've accomplished quite a bit thus far. I've managed to meet up with my two besties from high school: Diane and Tanisha as well as spend a decent amount of time with one of my other close friends, Mitharan. It always brings upon a great feeling to sit down and chat with long-time friends. Reminisce about the good old days when we could climb hills and act like hooligans.

Ah, how I miss my childhood.

With tubes in my veins

2010-07-29T17:18:00.004+08:00

Ah, so my trip to Thailand has come to an end, and at the moment, whilst the rest of the Setafire troupe is back in their homes, all comfy and healthy, me and my cousin Sears have yet to touch foot back in our homes due to dengue.

As much as I would love to just blog about the camp, I think I will wait till my head is absolutely clear of drugs or at least till my hands are free to fly from left to right without resistance. So for now, I leave you with my favourite picture of the camp, as well as news that I am now admitted in the Gleaneagles hospital in Ampang, suffering from the lack of visitors.

The birthday extravaganza

2010-07-04T10:04:00.004+08:00

And now, pictures and narrations of how I spent my birthday.

Beginning with breakfast, I had a simple dim sum session with my mother. We didn't talk much but I think its starting to turn into a tradition where she spends the morning with her daughters on their birthdays. It's nothing I'd go jumping around about, but to me I guess its at least worth mentioning.

Next, to pamper myself, I treated myself to a short manicure session. :) Straight after I drove off to meet my friend, Feera's place, and there she treated me to some sushi and a massage, one I so dearly appreciate. After that pampering session, I spent some time at Feera's house checking out youtube videos and playing around with the guitar. I had plenty of laughs and it really made me miss my college friends. I came home only to have my cousin, Joo Lee waiting for me. Forcing my friends to dress slightly snazzier than usual, we got ready to go out for a fancy dinner. With my friend, Mitharan and cousins, Praveena and Joo Lee, we went out to a gorgeous restaurant. They surprised me with a cake and everything. :) At least I got a cake, right?

After dinner and cake, we trooped to Connaught where we took a walk along the pasar malam. Sadly enough, I got a citation for my illegal parking. gah. Next, my sister and uncle met me and the rest of the gang at a shisha place where we of course, shisha-ed. My cousin stayed over that night and we had some fun sharing my single bed that kept breaking.

On another note, NEWS NEWS: I did well for my exams. Well, not "well", but good enough. So yes lady and gentlemen, you will soon see me packing my things and heading off to the oriental lands! Two months is what I have left, and I shall spend it by bringing my friends together to not only send myself off, but also my sister! Yes, she leaves around the same time I do and its kinda depressing to think that I won't have someone to fight with for 3 years. So yes, friends out there, if you're here in august, keep your time free!

Till then, Ta!

Caution, change in winds

2010-06-28T01:10:00.002+08:00

So, now that I know that you read this, I guess I'm gonna mind my words more now. In the past few weeks I've suddenly switched to tumblr due to the fact that there are awesome photo's there to look at which expresses how I feel. I spend hours a week staring at my computer screen expressing the occasional "Omg, so true!" or "Awww, I miss that". I've spent the week keeping myself busy with loads of work for my Setafire camp, and managed to put in a little mischief in between.

And then, comes the important bits of information: results are out in a while. I'm practically counting down the hours till I meet my doom and I wish I'll have someone with me to hold my hand as I open the email that would determine how the rest of my year will be. My plan: email my results without even looking at it to my bestie and ask her to tell me if its good or bad. GAH. Amazing how one sheet of paper can make me feel like taking a gun to my head.

Btw, Imma upload some photo's of how I spent my birthday in my next post. Gotta get everything out before I head off to Thailand and disappear again like the last time. :) Don't worry. I'll be blogging to my heart's content in the next few weeks because, as we all know China doesn't allow access to blogger. Yes, tis' very depressing, but I think it will do me some good as I'll finally begin sitting down and writing back in my diary again. Something I've been telling myself to do for like forever.

I love you everyday, twice on the weekends

2010-06-23T04:18:00.002+08:00

When I was a kid, I made the mistake of thinking things will go the way I want it to, if I tried hard enough. My mom always told me I was a special kid because I saw things differently than others. I could remember dates, addresses, the colour of someone's t-shirt when reminiscing about how we met. And till now, it stuck. I was always a different child. I see it more and more as time passes by.

As I grew older, I started to see through my hopes and realised things don't always go the way I want it to. Problem was, when that happen, I began to stop doing things. When I was 13, I sat for my first extra-curricular exam. I failed. I never went back to it.

It's then that I realised:

I don't handle rejection well.

And starting from that year, I stopped participating in things I knew I couldn't control. Besides the occasional lets-enter-this-for-fun stint, everything I did was never competition based. If I were to sing on stage, it wouldn't be for a competition. If I were to study, it was never to be the first in class.

Which brings us to now. I'm 20, and turning 20 made me realise a lot. As many would know, I just had a rough break up with Therry, and though I remained sour for some time, I realised having him as a friend would be easier than trying to avoid him. I destroyed my birthday by fretting over how to avoid him rather than to just enjoy the moment. It wasn't the best of birthdays considering the tears but it was a revelation to me. Him not being there with me, holding my hand the way I held his on his birthday meant that its official. And as its been over a week since my birthday, I finally feel comfortable enough to say that I'm over him. I've cried for a month. I've tried to make people hate him. I used all my energy to not cross paths with, and surprisingly was successful. But once again, lets relate this failure with how I treat my life. Failing is not something I do well. Once I fail, I fear trying again.

I'm afraid to go through the hell again. and I still wish he'll come back.

So now, I'm coming close to the submission date of my China application form. And I'm taking a risk by waiting this long to send it in, but I'm scared. I'm scared that something that happened earlier this year will happen again. In February I submitted an application to study in the UK. I wanted to wait till my results came out, but was forced to submit it anyhow. The next day my results came in and I failed a subject, thus causing my application to be rejected. From then, I was never the same. Then came the china application. With much worry, I tried and got accepted to a certain limit: that I don't fail this semester. Results are coming out soon, and right now I'm waiting for it, hoping that somehow it'll come before the submission date of my forms. This year has been terrible, and something tells me, God's out to get my for something I did in the past.

So, you tell me. Is it wrong for me to worry?

Play it on repeat

2010-06-20T22:00:00.001+08:00

I'm 20. Grow up Nadia.

Stop - friggin - thinking - abt - it.

Spitzname

2010-06-15T12:42:00.002+08:00

Wondering all over my FB I realise I've got quite a number of odd nicknames for myself. :)

1. Suchen (pronounced such-en thanks to ARIZA)

2. Bubble / Buih - by Praveena

3. Pineapple pie / pine - by Sita

4. Naddy by some random people who occassionally contact me

5. Nad by practically everyone

6. Nadia Suchen Ambigaibalan - by my parents when im in deep shit. :D

Hm. I thought the list would be longer. HAHA. Tough luck nadia. you thought wrong. Now, let us ponder on the weird/awesome names I've come up with for the people in my life!

Feera - Feela

Prav - Veen & Strawberry @ Straw

Joolee - Apple!

Sukhvir - Bunny @ Bun & Small fry

Satchit - Yogurt (though I hardly call him that anymore)

Sitaaaaa - Choco Breath

@12.48 here I am bored to the bone. Tolerate me my friends. Things are about to get messier. :)

You know you love me

2010-06-15T01:23:00.002+08:00

As I finished the 3rd season of Gossip Girl off my lappie, I take a sigh of relief that my life doesn't pack that much drama. I stay true to my word of no longer talking about a certain someone, though I'd kill to be allowed to lash out on his most recent "plan". Humour me again, and I'm changing cell numbers, emails and even postcodes.

But yes, going back to GG, it wasn't a wise move for me to watch such a romance based soap when I'm still not in the best of shapes. Nonetheless, drama pulls me closer each time, so its hard to resist. With almost all my favourite series over, and the fact that I'm up to speed with all of them has made me resort to the worst: old cartoons. Thanks to Praveena, she got me started on watching Courage the cowardly dog, which led me somehow to Phineas and Ferb, and embarrassingly enough, POKEMON. Youtube is such an amazing thing. Watching random episodes has never been easier!

And now, for those actually concerned, let alone curious as to what I plan on doing to welcome the "ties" and prepare my "teens" for its departure, my original plan of driving aimlessly and getting a good book and basking in the sun has become a major flop, but thanks to reliable friends and friends who actually want to be close to me, I have plans to spend the day pampering myself with mani's, massages, and a glorious fine dining dinner. With tomorrow night's WC match of North Korea and Brazil, I hope God makes my day really my day and pushes aside any drama in store. I'm turning 20 ladies and gentlemen.

Time for the big guns to come out.

Because of You

2010-06-04T23:29:00.002+08:00

Because of you I'm in a terrible shape. I blame you, but I also blame myself for pushing things too far. I will miss you always but after hearing things from Praveena, I don't think I can let myself stay in love with you anymore. If you want to move on, thats great. But don't count on seeing me at the end of the tunnel with open arms. All this gibberish about coming back to each other one day is just something people tell each other to make the other better. If you want me, thats all there is to it. If you want to discover yourself, you could have done it with me around. You pushed me away, saying that its to "save" the relationship. Well, looks like there's nothing to save now that its all gone. Honestly, a week has passed since I stopped talking to you and it feels like forever. Hearing your side of the story is a relief, but it was nothing I wanted to hear.

4 words was want I wanted: "I want her back".

Too late now. She tells me to let go. I let go. This is me saying this is my final rant about you. My heart tears into two as I write this, but this is it. I'm not coming back. I may have said this a trillion of times, but this time I'm serious. You may never read this, as I feel like you equally don't want me in your life as much as I do, but if you do, know this: I hate you for putting me through hell. I hate you for leaving me. I hate you for saying its cause you want to save the relationship. And I hate you for killing me.

Burst of inspiration

2010-05-29T19:39:00.003+08:00

As I stood at my balcony during the twilight hour, a thought came upon me: expectations are doomed to be unattainable. My whole life I sit planning each detail of my life, hoping that by writing it all down, maybe one day I'd achieve it. Well, plans are for losers. Which is exactly why I consider myself one. One would think I'd learn my lesson and stop planning events that aren't even a month away. Well beloved readers, I guess not.

As I take myself out of the blogging world, be duly informed that I will use my absence for a little 'me time'. Hopefully, when I get back I would be an entirely new woman, one that has learned from mistakes, one that remains committed to the fall out of a recent relationship and if God is willing, one that finally realises that there can be fun in living.

Turning 20 is a huge leap for me. Single and alone, I plan to spend the day of turning a year older in my car, driving at 80km/h, to absolutely nowhere. Fabulous plan, is it not?

Facing a corner

2010-05-28T07:55:00.002+08:00

Down at my worst, time has come to put myself in total isolation. A realisation came upon me whilst in Kuching, one reminding me of all the moments I held dear as well how all of it was stripped away from my life. Putting everything into a bag wasn't hard, but pushing it aside and taking it out of my life, now that was torture.

My trip to Kuching was refreshing, but ruined by conversations concerning past events. All I hope is for the hurt to eventually end. Family makes me both smile and frown. Numbing the pain, I wish for everything to be put on hold till China comes along.

If you ever read this, I hope you live a long and eventful life without me, as well as for you to figure out what you really want in life. Frustrated as I may be, nothing will kill me more if I see you now. We may live within similar circles, but I'm making extra efforts to seclude myself so as to not bump into you. Please, respect me and my decision. Please, let me heal and don't come back running so soon telling me you've changed your mind when we both know you haven't.

Childlock

2010-05-21T23:04:00.002+08:00

Another piece of evidence to how slow my mom is (but of course I still love you, mom)

Mom: Nadia, I need your nail polish remover.

*gives Elianto nail polish remover*

Mom: Nadia, what is this! Why cannot open!

Natasha: Ma, its child lock. Do you know what that means? You're a child.

Ah, family.

Armand tells it like it is

2010-05-19T22:16:00.003+08:00

As my beloved 1 year-old cousin says it.

habis.....

:) exams are over and its time to take a long awaited nap. 3 days I fly across the sea, to Sarawak, where a little family time will go a long way.

Seeing you again Sears, after nearly a year. Ah, time to reminisce of the good all times of Thailand as well as what to look forward to this year :) We'll bring monopoly and play rounds of scrabble! lol. Board games, here I come!

And the clock starts ticking

2010-05-17T19:48:00.002+08:00

Counting down the hours to my final paper, I begin channelling my thoughts to how to make my holidays most effective. Devising a wickedly packed schedule, I see myself hardly having holidays and putting more effort in work than I ever have. In a work sense, despite the study break, I've rescheduled my life to have tuitions every day of the week. In a more social sense, I'm using the entire month of June to write, compose and choreograph a whole production for the Setafire camp cum this July. This Saturday I fly off to see my beloved cousins from my mom's side. Ones I adore, and one I grew close to due to service. Excited as I maybe, I see the opportunity to take a breather, and slow down the pace of my life. With the entire of July devoted to Setafire, I see August, hopefully, being spent with family and friends before my possible one long year period in China.

Ah.

China.

Once sought as the most worst place possible to be in my eyes, I now see it as an escape from the dreadful things that have happened to me over the past few weeks. An impulse decision to extend, I may regret the 12 months, but I see it as a possible opportunity to make a change in the way I see life, as well as actually experiencing the proper life of a college student - one with no other responsibilities but to study.

I look forward to this change, and I look forward to the long holidays here to come.

But for now, I suppose I should divert my mind back to my last paper.

Totally you Nadia. Rejoicing before its even over.

Figures.

2010-05-14T20:10:00.001+08:00

Mom: "Nadia, you must drink two cups of jagung water"

Me: "But mom, I'm studying."

Mom: "It's good. It cleans your kidney."

Exams are here and there she goes and gives me something to clear my kidneys. Nice mom. REAL nice.

A new change

2010-05-11T18:32:00.003+08:00

After more than a year of using the same old blog layout, I finally decided to change it :) Yes, with my exams here its a disappointment that I still find the time to do something as tedious as changing my blog layout. Sigh. Clearly I lack a life.

Nadia. Go study.

Right, like that's gonna happen.

Nadia.

The Line Starts Here

2010-05-03T23:28:00.002+08:00

From a brief glance, one would consider me extremely hot-headed, especially when it comes to blogging, but seeing I've lost nearly everyone I thought would be there to talk to me, this blog has become more of a ranting page.

Topic of the week? Parents. No surprise there. With their every return I'm driven further and further towards madness. What used to be a mere statement to make my dad proud of me has turned into a mess. Studying business is not my thing. I've faced that a year ago. My abilities do not consist of studying things like law and economics. Numbers, I can deal with. But business is such a subjective topic that it can go either way. Just because I'm the daughter of an economics professor does not mean that I inherited his smart-ness. Yes, I can admit I have some smarts hidden somewhere, and were I to try extremely hard, I'd be able to scrape in a second class upper. But that's the thing. My passion has always been towards teaching. And studying business and being looked at by other business students as a waste of time is not something I handle well. Of course, no one has said such things in my face. In fact, I don't think anyone knows that I want to be a teacher besides a certain few. But those who do really question my reasoning to studying in a British university to graduate with a degree and then do my masters, only to be a school teacher. I'd be happy to just study in a university in NZ and live life peacefully there rather than go through the daily hell now.

Since February its the same things. "You failed. You're a disgrace. You didn't try hard enough." Worst part? It's not just my parents. Family members are on my case, expressing their disappointments in my failures too. Seriously, to those who read this, back off. You may pass it off as a joke, but to me it kills me. Any talk about how badly I did for my exams makes me feel bad. And with people who I love slowly leaving me, I'm hanging on a string now holding all my emotions to myself.

My breakup has been hard. Yes, I've decided to speak about it. 6 years later, after numerous talks about getting married and having kids together., after meeting his parents countless times, after bringing him to meet my friends, after meeting his friends. He finally decides to cut the relationship short. The reason? He wants to be single. This is not a hate post. Its a disappointed post. Every night and every day I distract myself by putting myself into my books, and playing music to sing along. But there's always something to remind me that I can't call you mine anymore. I see things all over my house bought or belonging to you. Your t-shirts in my drawer, the shoes you bought me, the shirts you bought me, the keychain that hangs from my car keys. It's hard now that you're gone and I wish you'd come back. I don't think things will ever be the same after this, and I wish there would have been a little more consideration from you when you said those words, but it's not like things can be changed now. Slowly, we go into a realm where we're barely friends. Just the occasional pop-by on msn like the 300 other friends I have on my list. It's amazing how 6 years comes to this.

Out of my life

2010-04-28T22:59:00.002+08:00

Out.

Off my FB.

Off my MSN.

Thanks for the memories. Seriously. Thanks.

Let me feel like crap for a year or two and then I'll talk to you again.

Aite?

Lower than the lowest

2010-03-16T15:45:00.002+08:00

Clearly my last post explains the immense fury I have towards all things exam related. What may seem shocking is that I have yet to get over my failure. With a whopping 51% average in my First year, first sem, my parents have decided not to give me the benefit of the doubt and instead, have made my life a living hell. Accusations of my tendency to put things unimportant in life above those which are sent me down a never-ending battle with depression. A rough two weeks have passed by, and while others have started to move on and work on doing better for the current semester, here I am still overwhelmed by my past. It has effected practically everything to do with me.

With parental threats to permanently remove me from my University, I struggle to get a grip of my life once again, indulging myself with habits that I am not proud of. Losing weight at a drastic rate, my health issues have emerged once again, also putting me in an undesired mental state. The friends I once felt close have been there for me, but not to the major extent that I would like them to be. People have been understanding on my part towards the unrealistic conclusions my parents have made, yet that will not change much.

In a few months from now, torture will be my best friend with the permanent return of those I'm made to call my "parents". Suicide will be on the top of my "to-do" list as my father is applying to be a professor at the University I currently study at. With the absence of my sister come September, life will be as a reality tv-show filled with constant quarrels.

Ah.

So this is what I have to expect for 2010.
Splendid.

Screw This

2010-02-24T20:46:00.000+08:00

Exams.

SCREW YOU.

That says it all.

The joy of absence

2010-02-22T19:26:00.002+08:00

For a minute I thought I'd be able to keep up the whole blogging game. Apparently not. Many apologies. Much has happened since my last post. To be fairly honest, I have no idea who actually checks out my blog seeing that I hardly blog. Regardless, here I am to share what has been going on. From HIS birthday, not much has happened. The birthday was certainly a delightful event, and even though it wasn't my birthday, it felt really good. Taking him out to watch AVATAR - which wasn't too bad - and then a little walk around Bintang Walk to get him his NEW IPOD a charger. Coming home, I managed to surprise him with a little party thanks to efforts from Praveena and Satchit. Around 14 people came, and we spent about an hour in my place watching youtube videos and doing what friends do.

The boys went out for a breath of fresh air near the pool, and during the time, the girls took the opportunity to prepare another surprise at the nearby playground: a water balloon fight. With around 150 balloons, a war broke loose forcing everyone to run in different directions. The fight didn't stop there. Returning to my apartment, Su Ann, stowed an extra water balloon and soon the entire apartment became a war zone. It was so enjoyable I smile now thinking about it. :)

Praveena and I managed to whip up another later surprise of getting his parents to stop by and say hi as well as drop off his baby sister. A birthday with family, friends, and me. I hope that was exactly what you wanted sayang. :)

Other than his birthday, I went to the Boys Like Girls free concert sponsored by Nokia. Sayang hoisted me up and for the first time, I actually got a good view during a concert. From now on, its you and me at concerts, kay sayang?

OH, its chinese new year now! Happy CNY! As much as I'm half chinese I feel like such an outsider with all the traditions. While everyone else spends CNY eve with family, I spent it helping my dad out with a camp. Not that I regret it, but sometimes I wish I could be more chinese. Being mostly ang-pauless, I'm nearly completely broke this month, bringing upon the need to diet unnecessarily. Oh well, it's good training for the fasting month that starts in a week. Goodbye glorious chocolates in the afternoon! Hello major depression. Results being released this week doesnt help either.

Oh.

Woe is me.

A year more and you can call it a fifth a century

2010-01-23T02:15:00.003+08:00

This post is dedicated to you:

To the love of my life, to my future, to my past, to my present. You my dear have been there for me through all the roller coaster twirls and held on tight the entire way. You made me laugh when tears well up. You put a smile on my face by just being yourself. And to thank you for all your doings, I hope you'll enjoy the day I have planned out for you. Forgive me if by some chance I cause any disagreements between us, I mean no harm. I just want you to know as a fact that I hold you close to my heart and one day I will be called Mrs. Therry Theyvakar.

Happy 19th sweetheart. May you have a jolly good year, and lets hope, there'll be plenty more to come where you and I can actually be together on this special night.

Cheers

You gotta like the sound of that

Nady

& With death comes joy

2010-01-17T10:20:00.006+08:00

I had the most fun ever with my family last night. It was the 39th anniversary of the passing of my grandfather, and boy did the family commemorate it in style. Started off with the usual makan session, forcing plates to be completely drowned with chicken curry and fish curry, not forgetting aunty Gauri's famous coleslaw *mmhmm. After our tummies were full, and when the Liverpool game was at the half-time, we moved on to hear a short story about my TATA, and then a round of prayers.

The story of Tata:

Born 15 years before my grandfather, and in an arranged marriage in fact, my grandparents apparently grew to love each other. Their routine eventually turned into one of the most romantic things I have even heard of - every morning when my tata wakes up, he would scream my pati's name and only open his eyes unless she stands before him. He wants her to be the first thing he sees everyday.

Like seriously, that's so romantic. Gone were the days boys do that with us. Haih, MEN, start taking notes.

Returning to the party, me and my cousins had a fit of crazyness and decided to light up some tanglongs - only cause' someone had some lying in a car. Helping out the little kids with theirs, we spend a good 5 minutes trying to get the friggin candles to stick on the tanglong. GAH. Didn't last that long. Decorating the entire front lawn with the lanterns, there suddenly began a major 'pop-pop' attack, forcing us to defend ourselves with absolutely nothing. And trust me. My cousins don't care if you're a girl, or if you're 2.

A funny conversation between me, Stephanie (my cousin's fiancee) and Darmain:

Me:Stephanie, what's in a pop-pop?
Stephanie:Gun powder.
Me: Really? Darmain, what's in a pop-pop?
Darmain: Gun powder.
Me: Wah, does that mean if I put pop-pop in a gun...
Darmain: It will explode? No Nadia, (Haha) not unless you have a bullet.

Watching the water gun fight among the boys and heading for a mamak session with the youngsters was surely a great way to end the celebrations.

One would ask, why all the fun? After all, it is a death anniversary. Well, my granddad passed away 39 years ago. NONE of my cousins have seen him. He died when his last daughter was 3. What does that tell you about us. My grandfather was a drunk man, who died because of alcohol. If he were still here today, none of my cousins who are chindians would be here today. I love that fact that he made the family to who they are today, but his death is something difficult to mourn over, especially when we never knew him. Every year on his death anniversary, birthday and pati's birthday, we hear more and more new stories of him by the elders, trying to keep the tradition of love towards him to carry on.

I cannot say I love him completely, but I appreciate him.

We hope you're proud of our family and what it has become tata.

Deep down, those tanglongs are for you.

You gotta like the sound of that

Nady

Sincere Apologies

2010-01-11T23:12:00.002+08:00

To those who have been wondering why I've stopped blogging lately, here's a tale to tell the world: I got lazy. Yes, I never saw myself as one to announce to the world of my doings, and even if I did, I would never be able to make posts periodically (holy shit, accounts is getting to me)

So now, a new year has come about and I have only one new year resolution: to be a better friend. Spending time with people, I've come to realize, I have no people. So now, I want to make more quality friends. Out of those 500 friends of facebook, I want to have at least 150 to call my friends that are in really close contact with me. Mission impossible? Well, I'll tell you in 12 months eyyy?

Anywho, exams have started (woe is me) and oddly enough, I have not stepped into stresville yet. Yet. Give it 3 hrs and you'll find me hyperventilating under my table.

We study our hearts out. Spend thousands to get a good education. Only to spend it locked away in a tiny cubicle, complying to society's wants. Wow. Now there's a future to look forward to. Screw this trash, I'm throwing the books and putting on an apron. Housewives have it good.

Back to studying.

& in 8 days, you'll hear a small cry screaming "I'm Free!"

You gotta love the sound of that.

Nady

Lay down your golden hair

2009-08-22T16:40:00.011+08:00

Refreshed. Rejuvenated. That is exactly how I feel now that I'm back from my annual trip to Thailand. It wasn't exactly a 'holiday' but I wouldn't've had it any other way.

Meeting new people, teaching people, learning from people...

ah... who wouldn't call that an experience?

To explain the exact details of my trip would be torturous, because not only were we there for 14 days, each and every day there was something done. Between the three camera's we (the service team, which I will eventually blog about) had taken over 1000+ photo's. You tell me how I plan on explaining everything.

So what I did do was make a basic write up on our day to day activities and choose my favorite photo's from the lot of the going-ons in Thailand.

Day 1: Arrival in Chiangmai - watched *jeng jeng jeng* G.I Joe

Day 2: Woke up at 4 a.m to catch the van up to Omkoi. Spent the night discussing our plans for the camp.

Day 3: Part 1 of the Setafire Camp (Day 1)

Day 4: Part 1 of the Setafire Camp (Day 2)

Day 5: Rest day - slept all day to recuperate energy

Day 6: Went to a primary school about 7 km away to teach the Std 5 & 6 's English

Day 7: Thailand celebrates Mother's day - school given holiday; conducted more English classes and played games with the kids at the institute

Day 8: Went to the same primary school as before and taught the same batch of kids English

Day 9: Painted the institute we stayed at; prepared for Part 2 of Setafire

Day 10: Part 2 of Setafire Camp (Day 1)

Day 11: Part 2 of Setafire Camp (Day 2); Aek's birthday so there was a cake fight :) oh joy.

Day 12: Rest day - slept all day again; camps really take the best out of everyone

Day 13: Left Omkoi for Chiangmai; spent the night shopping

Day 14: Gave Sears a makeover; watched a Hindi movie thanks to Neung

Day 15: Flew back to Malaysia

An obvious eventful trip once again.

Ta for now.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

Back to the beginning

2009-08-05T09:06:00.003+08:00

At last, the day has finally come. In exactly 24 hours I will be up in the sky watching the glorious clouds float on by as I drift off into la-la land reminiscing of my Thailand trip from last year. I'm so excited it's like a dream come true. To be able to spend time in my beloved Thailand is like a gift from the Gods. Not to mention I get to meet up with my bestie Sita, whom I haven't seen for over a friggin year now.

Stress will come upon me during my oh-so awaited trip but it'll be all worth it. To see the smiles on those faces upon our arrival in Omkoi gives me goosebumps. Because, for the first time, I know I'm doing the right thing.

On another note, if anyone had either read the papers lately, kept in tune on happenings on facebook or actually lived in the Alam Jaya, Mudun, Cuepacs region, you'd know that on Monday, 3 August 2009, Gary Leon Robert, a perimbun graduate, passed on. Not wanting to mention details of his passing, what I do want to mention is the few things I remember of him.

Gary was actually my neighbour (well, my cousin's neighbour but I practically lived in that house anyways) and I can't say I spoke to him much. But what I do know was that he was an avid badminton player. During the Thomas Cup season when I was a kid, everyone from the taman used to come out and play, and Gary had a wicked Smash. To add to that, I also remember his smile. Going to his memorial service last night, and gazing upon his body, I refuse to remember him that way.

He was humble, he was smart, he was athletic, and god was he good-looking.

He did not deserve to die. Not yet.

My condolences to Farah and your family. He will be dearly missed.

and to you my dear. Thank you again for a wonderful day. With you laughing at me as I danced as well as highlight the fact that I was 'sticky' really made me happy [as weird as that was]. Swimming with you and the others was the icing of the cake. I appreaciate you for coming over and seeing me before my trip.

You will always be on my mind sayang.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

i wanna swim till the lights come on

2009-07-29T09:33:00.006+08:00

These past few days have been absolutely fabulous, despite certain happenings that seem to bother my mind oh so much. Friday night with my beloved family, followed by an impulse decision to go watch Ice Age 3 where I laughed so hard, I couldn't breathe (yes people, a definite must see).

Sunday night with my bestie: Diane Nerissa Kurian who celebrated her 19th with a not so raved about meal and a chit chat with her sisters. Monday night with my new batch of junior youth where we conducted the good old plant-some-tauge-seeds-in-a-tau fu fah-tuppaware-and-watch-how-it-sprouts experiment :)

Then last night with my cousins who came over to have a lil late evening swim, have a round of teasting my mom's Lereve Perfume, and then watch a movie: Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (Alert :Chick Flick! Boys be aware!)

Definately a bunch of days worth remembering.

Also, I leave for Thailand in 8 days! Setafire (my English camp I've been organizing since last year) has been facing several difficulties, what with the Swine flu in the heart of the kampung we were all heading to. But, no fear, things are good now. Thanks to comments from lil' miss Sita Krishnan, things should be okay. So now the excitement builds up as I spend most of today morning practicing a new Malay dance thanks to Feera: cheography credits given to her. I owe you woman.

And to you mista.

We'll talk over the weekend. Don't worry, you'll always hold the key to my heart.

You gotta like the sound of that

Nady

The Weekend

2009-07-21T10:30:00.002+08:00

So I just got back from what felt like, a perfect weekend, and boy am I exhausted. Busy on my feet from Friday to Monday, a smile crosses my face thinking of how it was all spent with him. My parents, being more open than they have EVER been in their entire life is finally cooperating by allowing me to spend time with him - usually if there's a service twist involved. Going to Times Square with him to watch HIM shop, and not me was definitely an experience I never want to go through ever again, but I suppose, if you ask me to do it once again, I'd consider it.

Do I give in easily, or what?

I watched Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Ratings? Sadly, a 6 out of 10. Fans, be prepared to be disappointed. Even Therry could figure out the plot of the movie. No suspense, no action, no fun. A terrible downer for a movie than has been hyped up all year, but if you look at the broader picture, you'd realize what was done was necessary in order to make the 7th oh so fantastic.

But overall, it was great having Therry by my side all weekend long. He stayed over the night before, and my parents were totally cool with it. *giggle* And he helped out with another one of my dad's camps in Morib. Stressed as I was, I enjoyed myself.

To one good weekend. Cheers.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

Guinea Pigs

2009-07-09T09:45:00.004+08:00

I am outraged. Anyone who has read the newspaper today would pretty much be feeling the exact same way I do.

http://thestar.com.my/

Speaking as a 2007 SPM graduate, the first batch who experienced the Malay-English switch back in Form 1, I honestly think that this decision is a big mistake. Being taught in English was one of the best things that happened to me.

I came to Malaysia in 1997 from New Zealand. Picture this: a tiny me, with a kiwi accent. I was picked on at school, and speaking Malay was difficult to me. But I survived. And the only way that was possible was thanks to my friends who would translate everything taught to me that I couldn't understand, back to English.

In UPSR, I got 4A's and 1B.

In Form 1, when the new syllabus began, I finally was able to excel. And guess what, my friends didn't have any problems too. My batch of friends took the transitition like a breeze. And mind you, these were not only the non-malay's. The Malay's found it easy too. (Not trying to be racist here, but I think you get my point)

I left for Shanghai in Form 3, and returned back to Malaysia in mid Form 4. Thanks to the Science subjects taught in English, I was able to return back to Malaysian syllabus with no difficulties. Had it been in Malay, my parents would probably make me go to an international school, or stay on in Shanghai.

The Government does not realize what a big mistake they're making. Malaysia's future is in jeapordy with this transition. And us, its citizens are beginning to feel more and more, like guinea pigs.

Changes

2009-07-07T20:53:00.005+08:00

Weeks have passed since I last blog. Holidays tend to make a person a lot more lazier than usual, if you know what I mean. :)

So, birthdays and weddings have passed by and there is definitely lots to write about. Just the fact that I won't. I think most importantly, I must say this: I'm finally going public, though, I think half the world know it,

I LOVE YOU THERRY THEYVAKAR

A random statement, I know, but I guess its now time to finally come clean with it. 5 years later, and I still love you sayang.

Thank you, also, to all those who attended my birthday celebration about two weeks back. I am forever grateful for your attendance despite the last-minuteness. The gifts, and mostly your presence made it all the more glorious an event. And Therry, thank you for coming all the way for me.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

Changes

2009-07-07T20:53:00.001+08:00

Weeks have passed since I last blog. Holidays tend to make a person a lot more lazier than usual, if you know what I mean. :)

So, birthdays and weddings have passed by

A quiet world

2009-06-17T11:06:00.003+08:00

After an extremely long time, I have finally sat myself down, and decided to blog. So, after several requests from friends, it's probably time for me to talk about my trip to China. Uploading all the pictures would be madness so I will put up a few snapshots of several of my favorite moments.

I basically left Malaysia early 28th May, and arrived at my first stop to meet up my dad in Shen Zhen.

We only saw as much as the Airport, but even from that, I have a couple things to say. Shen Zhen should definitely get a hold of a better translator.

After arriving in Shen Zhen, we had to transit onto another plane and took a 2 hour flight to Kunming. Upon arrival, we had to get onto a bus and endure a 6 hour bumpy ride to get to Dali, the place my dad was about to organize his FLAME camp. The Flame camp is actually a Bahai inspired camp that aims to bring out moral leadership amongst youth. Dad's been getting sponsors and this trip to China was to actually organize the first of the many yet to come of FLAME camps. On the bus, we actually met up with 5 volunteers from the company that was sponsoring us, Tencecnt (the Chinese know them as QQ - a chinese version of MSN). A couple of outspoken young adults with a pretty good command in English.

We arrived in Dali late at night and had to get some sleep immediately because the following day was the beginning of an excruciating long day. The camp began in the afternoon of the 29th and ended in the afternoon of the 31st. It was pretty difficult to be of any use due to the fact I speak not a word of Pu Tong Hua (Chinese). Even when I tried, the kids there would just look at me in a blur face. It was sad. But seeing these kids really reminded me of my stay in Thailand for two months last year. Living in the mountains with indigenious children brings upon a different mindset. These kids from China are so much more different than anyone I've ever met.

The story of these Kids from a school called Hua Hua is pretty heart-wrenching. They live 8 hours away from the closest school, so they have to stay in the school. The school itself is built on an unstable mountain so adding rooms to stay in is pretty risky. Roughly 15 kids sleep in a small room, and they're not allowed to run around because of the fear of the ground collapsing. Every ten days they're allowed to return home, but these ten days mean they study for ten days. Straight. No weekends. But after the ten days they go home and spend time with their families for 2 days. 2 days is required to travel to and fro. So, when I first saw these kids, they looked pretty erm... dirty. And the reason behind this is because in their school, they don't have a large supply of water to bathe with. So, they only bathe once in two weeks.

But these kids, you can see it through their eyes, they've gone through a lot, and with just a bit of encouragement, you just know they'll end up being great people. The camp, didn't really result well because the methods of teaching wasn't exactly up to the Chinese norms. With a couple of tweaks, the camp will sure to be a success eventually. :)

Once the camp was finally over, we managed to take a look at the old town of Dali. I have to say, it is absolutely beautiful. There are really small canals (I don't know what to call it exactly) that run through the whole town!

Marijuana grows like flowers - and one of the reason for this is due to China's very low cost of living, particularly in Dali, a lot of the Hippi's came and lived in Dali and grew their own marijauana plantations. Till the government intervened in the 1970's, marijuana was everywhere!

And the old town of Dali is also famous for its Three Towers (Three Pagoda's), and it's north and south gate. The town is actually in a fort, so its surrounded by walls. Cool huh! :)

The day the camp was over we decided to be more tourist-y, so we got a van and went to a place across the Er Hai lake, opposite Dali. It was a beautiful Inn facing the lake. Sadly, my sister has yet to upload those pictures for me. However, on the way, we made a couple of stop and took some memorable shots.

For now, this is all I can write on. So till then, Ta!

I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

Curse em' sepets

2009-06-09T19:42:00.003+08:00

After two long weeks, I have finally returned home. With my eyes drooping to the floor, I don't think its humanly possible to update the going-ons in China this time, but by the end of this week, I'll be sure to get it done.

Yawn.

Oh.

Something new that I had to find out the hard way:

China blocks blogger.

And twitter.

And Youtube.

How, oh how do they survive?

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady.

Racing hearts

2009-05-26T23:55:00.004+08:00

So, I leave for China tomorrow, and I'm pretty excited. With boxes on my bed, and bags all over my room, anyone can clearly see I'm totally not ready to leave. It still comes as a shock that I'll be returning to Shanghai after 3 long years. Much has changed since then, and I think this time, I'm ready to take on China :)

Preparing for daddy's FLAME camp has kinda gotten me completely engrossed with the internet looking for cooperative team games that could be used in our Amazing Race. God, I wish there was a giant book of fabulous group team building games. Life would be so much more easier then.

Since exams have been over, I've been updating myself to all the recent movies:

Of which, out of three, I'd only recommend the public to watch Night at the Museum and Star Trek. Now, mind you, I only suggest Star Trek because I've been a fan of the show since I was 4. Hence, unless you're a fan of sci-fi adventure and slightly confusing story lines, this is the movie for you.

This last bit is for you. You know who you are. I'm sorry for our little scare today. I tend to get a little crazy sometimes as we both really know. The way I acted today was inappropriate and to make you make choices like that when it involved both of us was very irrational of me. I still love you. :)

To end the last post of the month in Msia, I'd like to say just this:

Ta.

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

Officielle

2009-05-21T12:17:00.005+08:00

Congratulate me now: I have officially completed my foundation course. Yesterday marked the final day of my long 1 year programme and now... I'm all geared up to be an undergrad student! Now, to how much my brain is ready for it, I have no idea... but socially, I'm absolutely ready for it.

To celebrate our success in completing our course, a bunch of us from our terrifically fab English crowd, scooted ourselves to the closest mamak and ate our hearts out. :) Well, not everyone.. but most of us did. We ranted on about how each and everyone of us had grown since we met and reminisced of our first day ever on campus. We got the 411 on all the gossip that went on on campus whilst I was away, and trust me, there was loads.

An hour past, our beloved lecturer, Ms. A came about and bid us good luck to our futures. She told us how her new batch of wee ones were no match for our loud voices though, they were reaching that level one way or another. :)

No group can be as outrageous as ours.

Way back in April

Then a new group of people in July

And those who remained friends through it all.

To close off the day, me and Feera scramed to the really good Massage place down at Connaught called "Bagus Thai" where I honestly got the best massage in ages. :) The best people at relieving pain are definately the Thai's.

Oh, and a big shout-out goes to Kris Allen who manage to beat Adam Lambert for the American Idol 2009 title. No hate towards Adam, but the best recording artist won. Though, I would kill for Danny Gokey to have won instead. :) Now, that would've been a battle worth watching.

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

A new beginning

2009-05-17T12:37:00.008+08:00

So, 4 exams down, and 1 more to go. I can't believe its finally going to be over. Who would've thought when we all step foot in Nottingham that we'd all end up like this today. A year has passed and so much has changed. We've learned loads (The Malthusian theory, j-curves, fiscal policy, L.I.F.O) and I guess in the process, we've loss loads too. Our sanity perhaps?

It was a good year though, filled with color themed days and our collective pantangness to the July intake. Haha! I know they ain't half that bad.. but I guess all the April intake is trying to prove is that though we're paying for our fees ourselves, we're just as good as they are. :)

And cooler.

Definately way cooler :P

And finally, we're down to the last paper of the year till I can officially call myself a college graduate and a university student. :) Starting the 20th of May, after 3 pm, I'm FREE!!! I've got my whole 4 month holiday planned out though, so looks like you'll never catch me at a dull moment. I'm flying off to China for two week on the 28th, and then helping my cousin prepare for his wedding. Besides that, I have a month to prepare for my Service trip to Thailand for a month in August. Then possibly another trip to Shanghai, if my parents are willing.

Looks like I see a lot of new stamps on my passport in the next few months. :) Care to join the fun?

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

Thicker than Water

2009-05-06T11:39:00.003+08:00

So, tomorrow's the big day - the start of exam season - and what am I doing? Oh, nothing really. Sitting. In front of the computer in TISCRA at nearly 12. Wow Nadia... really productive.

Sheesh.

Here, we go again. Procrastination :)

I will study.

I will.

soon. :)

Anywho, today's my sister's 21st birthday! My wacky, insane, slightly dim-witted sister, Natasha Sulin:

Have a great one jie.

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

Dig this

2009-04-29T15:35:00.003+08:00

After 15 years of natural hair, when I was 15, I straightened my hair. That went on till I was 17. Next, I dyed my hair mahogany brown and cut it Thailand which resulted in sudden natural curls. At 18, I dyed my hair brown three times in hopes of getting just the right shade. Like I'd ever be satisfied.

At 19, I went to Thailand again and got my hair dyed brownish-red, then re-dyed it dark brown the following month.

At 19, with a gentle nudge from my cousin, Praveena, I changed my look. I have bangs now. Major bangs. And I look more Malay than ever.

But you know what?

I'm starting to like it. :)

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

Signed, Sealed, Delivered... I'm yours

2009-04-26T09:39:00.004+08:00

7 years after the first 'guy' in my life, I have finally received approval. The big guy has finally given me the thumbs up to date my dream guy.

A historical conversation that just had to be photographed:

*The name of the guy has been disclosed for certain purposes

It's official. I'm hooked :)

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

Feet up in the clouds

2009-04-22T18:34:00.003+08:00

Weekends are fun. Especially this weekend. This weekend was fun. Interesting, and fun. I can just hear my girls jumping with joy, awaiting to hear the latest scoop.

Hold on hunns. Here it comes. :)

A weekend with my parents back was supposed to be something I dreaded, but the year shocked me again. With a whole week to myself - no sisters, no parents, no social life - I got caught up with a bucketful of bad luck. My sister leaves and takes all my luck with her.

It began with Monday, as I rushed off to get my assignment handed in, I hit my freaking car in my own car park. The lot I've been driving in and out for the past 5 months. Of all days, I hit the car on the day I needed to be on campus, a.s.a.p. The following day, I park my car at my cousin's place while I stay the night, and my car gets broken into! Tough luck? Wait, there's more.

On Wednesday, I rush off to get my car checked cause my uncle tells me that my tail lights are out and I'd get fined if I drive without it. So, I get it checked, rush off here and there, waste some petrol, only to be told by the mechanic that I just needed to hit my trunk a lil' cause the wiring was out. Fantastic! :S

Thursday came about and my bad luck continued. I go to campus after pulling out an all-nighter to watch the Manchester - Porto match, and reach to find out that the lecture for the day was not the usual 2 hours, but a wooping 4 hours! Thank the Lord lecturers don't really fall through with their words :) I ran off hoping to reach home before 1 and in the midst of doing so, whilst driving, something - the thingy on the window that keeps the water from trickling in - flies off my car and onto the highway. GREAT.

I get back home and wanna basically rest, so I do, but I needed to prepare for dad's camp that was up and coming so I look for my pen drive and its lost. I freaked cause everything important to me was in there. I kept my cool, and went for my usual JY class and told myself to start cleaning the house when I get back before mom and dad come. I start to vacuum the carpets and a huge gust of smoke shoots out of the vacuum and makes the whole house smell like its on fire.

At that point I snapped.

Coming to my senses, I pulled myself together and managed to get a little of the cleaning done by 4 in the morning and set my alarm for 8 so that I could continue the next day. So, I did. I finished, thankfully, but then I get to campus to take my English test and finish it fast - like half an hour fast - and that kinda scared me too. I get into the car and while driving, my shoe, my favorite shoe snaps.

This is the story of my bad luck weekend. Anyone care to match that?

Anyhow.. I thank God for the existence of the saying 'It can't get any worse than that.' Things got better. Dad and mom returned that night and I spent 2 hours talking to them, telling them how rough its been. My neighbours who are foreigners figured out that I live without my parents and they've gotten slightly worried. But dad sucked it up and suggested we just turn up the TV and act like there really is a family living in the house.

Fantastic suggestion dad. I followed dad to his camp in Morib and it was loads of fun. I got to see Therry in action, doing things I never thought I'd be able to see in a long time - get along with dad. He really impressed all of us with not just his 10 A's but his ability to be a strict facilitator. The family gave him a nickname - Tan Ah Wan. Say it fast and you'll get it :)

Ridvan came about and I spent it with him and my family. We spent the day watching Armand have his first taste of solid food and his first picnic. We caught fish and everything. An enjoyable evening.

One thing I learnt during the weekend. I love him. :)

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

Born for This

2009-04-13T23:49:00.003+08:00

Report week is closing to an end, and I can finally breathe again. As I release a sigh of relief, I think again, wholly shit, we have to do this again NEXT SEMESTER.

Why think that way Nadia. Why?

So this week, I had an extremely entertaining time. Classes were only from Monday to Wednesday, leaving Thursday and Friday as my 'lazing about' day, till I finally crammed whatever time available I had to finish my report.

On Thursday, we held a surprise birthday party for my beloved brader from another mather. Satchit turned the big two-oh. :) The first of the gang, ey? I believe things went well with the party, though, he didn't seem that surprised by us all being there. We played rounds of twister and mamaked and pooled all night long. Note to self*: being short has its advantage - in twister.

After hanging out all night long, we finally began to lose it when we all started staring at the moon and watch a really cute kitty prance around chasing cockroaches. We were high. High on friendship. :) To end the night, before half the group went their separate ways, we had a group hug. A beautiful way to close a wonderful night.

Friday morning, by the time things were up and about, it was 2. Plans were actually made to watch a movie at 10. *pfft* like that was ever gonna happen. After the change of plans, we took a 5pm movie and watched the Fast and the Furious 4 - which other than the first scene, was pretty disappointing - with Therry, Sat, Rosh, Prav and my sister. The whole while I had Therry sitting next to me, whispering the lines to me.

Yes my dear. I know you've seen it before. Let's not rub it in, hmm?

Following the movie, the boys had to release their need to race, so guess what they did? They went to the arcade. :D lol, my little buddies raced and raced and then we decided to bump it up a bit - we played bumper cars. :) Still kids at heart.

My sister is gone to Liverpool for the week, and I finally have the car to myself! :) Roadtrip anyone?

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

Scream

2009-04-08T11:20:00.004+08:00

Report season has begun. The long awaited moment for exams to be over approaches fast. Sadly, there's still a month plus to wait for.

Assignments are due back-to-back, and it kills us all. Stupid lecturers who fail to discuss dates in a considerate manner. Just because they didn't talk among themselves, we have to suffer. THREE assignments due on the SAME day.

Nottingham.

Why.

Why?

I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

And the crowd goes wild

2009-04-06T19:23:00.005+08:00

Dress to impress.

Notti's - you sure have it in ya.

Performing in front of hundreds of notts students was a BIG thing. Nottingham's Annual Dinner themed a Red Carpet Affair was absolutely fabulous in my opinion, held in Sunway Lagoon Hotel and Spa. :) The night was initially filled with adrenaline and major nerves thanks to our very early scheduled performance and a very unsatisfying sound-check. Without our manager, Ariza ~ yes, Ariza, you are mentioned here and our erm.. co-manager, Talab, what with their major criticizing habits, we tend do doubt ourselves a lot more. All in all, everything went well. With a few lyrics forgotten here and there, the crowd was pretty much content with the performance.

Everyone looked gorgeous with their beautiful dresses and suits, and the entertainment for the night was great. With the FREE entry to MOS that night, the SA entertainments committee sure knows how to bring it. :) Many thanks goes to them for their absolutely terrific preparations for the night.

THREE

Sadly, the instrument positioning was pretty bad, so it was impossible to get all three of us performing at the same time.

Vishnu found a way to catch a picture with both me and Feera in it, on stage!

Our really awesome, semangated table that clapped to the beat.
Major sports.

Business Foundation Group, April.
There are others in too.
Kepochi's.

The Alam Jaya 7 clan.
4 people from the same freaking road.
Doesn't that say something about Nottingham?
:)

The night was wicked. Wanna go to a great university?
Nottingham's the place for you.

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

Cloud 9

2009-03-29T15:10:00.006+08:00

We finally did it. Genting. Genting Genting Genting.

Genting.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are no longer procrastinators!

9 months later, we finally completed our long awaited roadtrip. That took some time :) Loads of fun is what we had on the 27th of March, a day I shall never forget.

Pictures say a thousand words

Talab decided to get us a lil' something from delifrance.
Ain't they pretty?

Bumper boats! Talab couldn't come cause he was too heavy.
Somebody's gotta hit the gym!

Food we kept for Therry, though he didn't come :P

The Picture of the Day

Absolutely priceless

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

It starts now

2009-03-24T00:02:00.005+08:00

Important note to all the Iranian's and Bahai's out there:

Happy Naw Ruz

I hope the first day of spring comes as a reminder that a new year is up and about, and a time of change is necessary.

This year's Naw Ruz was fairly different - particularly because my parents were away this year, and celebrations were conducted in Ipoh than the traditional - patti's place. All in all, it was a great weekend filled with laughter, fun and late nights :) mamak sessions, partying till the break of day

meeting important people of my life :)

this was my past two weeks:

Green jam

Naw Ruz eve

Naw Ruz night

Three - performing for you at the Nottingham Red Carpet affair The Annual Dinner

Feeling the love? I sure do :)

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

Time warp

2009-03-14T14:34:00.006+08:00

I knew I could never keep up with this whole blogging thing. Feera and Ariza, I'm sorry for not updating any sooner. We all know how tied down we've been lately.

I've realized I haven't added any pictures on the going ons of this year so here's a little peak:

January

My trip up north during Chinese New Year with my family

My little twin relatives, Luke and Jake. Ain't they the cutest things?

Meeting old friends from 10 years ago

February

SINGAPORE!

at the LCCT keeping ourselves occupied with good old Cho Tai Ti

Ariza and Khas that have to camwhore in my parents hotel bathroom

At the beautiful fountain of wealth in Suntex City

Dedicating a song to each other :)

Ariza waiting so 'patiently' for her dedication to her beloved Raja Yusof to be played

Fooling around at the MAC outlet in Changi Airport

Ayyam-i-Ha

Spending the day with my JY kids during ayyam-i-ha by cleaning up their housing area

Games and fun during the children class of Alam Jaya Ayyam-i-Ha celebration

My cousin's relative who strangely enough, is attracted to pain.
And clips.

March

Jason Mraz *swoon*

So, ever since the last time I blogged, loads has happened. For one, I went for the Jason Mraz concert and it was absolutely brilliant! He had us singing along to all his songs. The audience was so alive, I didn't know Malaysians had it in them! I had a wicked time going there with my sister and Feera. Though, because it was during our fasting month, we ended up breaking our fast with merely a bottle of water and a packet of twiggies, it was all worth it. I'd give anything to be in another of his concerts. :)

Another thing, is that me, Feera and Raja have decided to be a lot more musical on campus! :) We auditioned for Nottingham's Annual Dinner performances and after our callbacks, we got in! I think we sound pretty good compared to what I've seen in other places (*hint* Feera, you know what I'm talking about). We're really looking forward to the whole thing and even though the ticket alone costs a bomb, I don't mind at all. The only thing I'm bummed out with is the fact that now I actually have to go out and look for a dress!

So, look out for more posts about the annual dinner - 4 April. That's something I'll definitely blog about. In due time :P

Fasting month's just about over, and Naw Ruz, the Baha'i New Year is in a week's time. I'm looking forward to spending a good weekend with aunts, uncles and cousins alike in Ipoh. Regardless the fact that I shall be parentless this year, I'm attempting to make this year a year to remember.

A big shout out to my dear friend Therry who scored 10 straight A1's for his SPM - CONGRATS! :)

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that

Nady

It's just emotions

2009-02-27T13:16:00.002+08:00

Another week has flashed before my eyes, and something finally hit me: I.Am.Lazy. Too lazy to blog, to lazy to come online and chat with people, too lazy to even stay awake! It's really odd because being 19 is what people say is the 'prime time of your life', but I barely feel that way.

Since my arrival home from Singapore, a lot of crazyness has been going on. For one, I taught my collegemates how to play this really old game my dad taught me called 'Jin Rami' and now we're totally hooked to it :) Also, I finally took some time off from my lazy routine and studied, though you couldnt exactly call it a huge success what with my friends screaming and telling me to stop studying behind my back :)

Right now, all I'm trying to do is keep up in classes and get through each day, one at a time. Hectic is what you can call the final semester of Foundation. It's not even week 5 and we already have an assignment due. But, looking at the brightside - if there is any - at least its happening now. It could have been like last sem, where there were 8 semester due around the same time.

Piece of advice: Do not procrastinate.

Anyhow, I'm trying to use all the time I have now to savor all the food I can get my hands on. Fasting month begins on Monday, and I'm thinking, it's gonna be a little hard to keep the hunger pangs away. All my friends don't hold back when it comes to food, and though I know they love me and they've told me they will respect my abstinence from food, I highly doubt it will happen 24/7. Oh well, half the idea of fasting is the suffering.

Bring on the fasting month :)

Also, to all the Bahai's out there, Happy Ayyam-i-Ha. May you all go out there and share and care like how we're supposed to.

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that

Nady

On the road home

2009-02-22T17:02:00.002+08:00

Been away in Singapore for merely 2 days and it feels like forever! I had a stupendous time at Ariza lovely house, and spent the day conducting surveys and .... *drumroll please* SHOPPING! It wasn't exactly compltely successful, but I will be content. Watch me next week and you will see the new clothes out and about :)

Anyways, at the airport now, about to fly back to our beloved homeland. More stories will be told a.s.a.p. Keep tuned in!

Oh, and Ariza says hi.

Typical.

You gotta like the sound of that

Nady

Sing to the beat

2009-02-14T11:11:00.003+08:00

So a week has pass and it is simply obvious I haven't been in a erm ... decent mood to blog about anything. What has happen over the week? Well, quite flatly, nothing.

Feera is back from Umrah and I missed her oh so dearly. Being around Khas and Ariza was great, but having the four chica's together just makes my life all the more fascinating. Ooh, I guess here's something definately worth mentioning :) Looky what I have

Jason Mraz baby! Photo, courtesy of Feera. You, me and my sister, honey. We're gonne rock on all night long :)

Results for Sem 1 are out on Monday, and I feel my knee's shaking. Why do I feel so anxious? Oh, right - cause I messed up. Big time.

Tonight there's gonna be a Valentine's day party at my place for all my friends. Oddly enough, its a singles only party. That kinda indicates my status right now. At least, how I feel about it.

Depression creeps over me like death approaches an unaware man. Please don't let me fall too deep. I've fallen before, I hate to let it happen again.

You gotta like the sound of that

Nady

Animal Rights

2009-02-06T10:21:00.001+08:00

So, we're back to the new semester, and the first week is officially out. Being back in Nottingham has its perks - especially after that exhausting two weeks break that flashed before my eyes. Seeing all my college mates with their new clothes, new hair and new shoes :) I missed them all loads.

Learning our lesson well from last semester, Ariza, Khas and I have decided to study more during our in between breaks, and surprisingly, its been working! We ain't hypocrites no more! :) For now. We spent an hour and a half studying math after class and completing the exercises. Shockingly. Then, of course, we started to fool around. Playing bluff and Cho Tai Ti.

Oh, Ariza and Khas came over on Wednesday to go to the Taman Connaught Pasar Malam together! We spent 3 hours there and it was fantastic. Shoes, clothes, food, accessories - you name it, and its there.

We saw 3 little, cute dogs being sold there. It was sad because if you looked at the puppies close enough, its obvious they've been abused. Wounds could be seen. Staring at them close enough, you could tell they've been beaten. Why do people treat animals that way? I've noticed, the minute a person doesn't like a specific animal, they feel like its okay to hurt it. Poking and kicking - its a habit that has been developing in our current younger generation, and let me just say: It's wrong. What if an animal didn't like you? Would you be cool with it if it goes around kicking and poking you? We make a fit when an animal so much as licks us, or playfully bites us. Why aren't they allowed to make some noise when they're hurt, or when they're sad? People, animals are creations of God as much as we are. Let's try to show them a lil respect, hm?

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

Getting Away With It

2009-02-02T23:09:00.004+08:00

Sneaky.

I like myself cause I'm sneaky.

I like being sneaky. :)

Sneaky, sneaky, sneaky.

I'm in an absolutely fabulous mood right now; I'm feeling ecstatic right now. I have just figured out that Dad really does care. Dad cares enough to hear all my complaints, and finally agree with my opinion.

Ladies and Gentlemen. *drum-roll please*

Nadia is NOT getting braces.

I would like to thank all those people with braces for telling me their stories involving all things metal mouthed. You were my inspiration when I was exaggerating stories about what I would experience. Names that must be mentioned are Nur Joo Lee Gunasegar - thank you for telling me I would go through hell the day of getting my braces; thanks to you, dad's too nice to see me in pain, and called the whole thing off, Sze Lin - thanks for wearing the bands around your braces today; with certain extreme words, I persuaded my daddy to see the logic behind it all, Raja Yusuf - thanks for telling me I couldn't eat for a week after getting it; Dad felt pity on me for having to suffer with an unusual diet while he wasn't around, and others out there who helped in numerous ways: Tze Yi, Tanisha, etc.

Nadia is happy :)

2009.

You will never fail to impress me.

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

As the time flies by

2009-01-29T10:42:00.004+08:00

It's been, what? A week or so since I last updated my blog, and I have Feera and Ariza poking and pinching me. See la, you all don't update in the time frame of 3 days, I will poke you. Impatient fella's :)

Since the last day of our 2nd semester (Semester 1 - all Notti kiddos know that), I've been preoccupied with hanging out late at night and sleeping at majorly odd hours. Since the 16th I've hardly been home. :) And you know what? I'm glad that it turned out that way.

There was our family prayers for my grandfather's death anniversary on the 16th, and I managed to meet up with a handful of family members.

And then on Monday, I met up with Ariza, Khas, Raja and Vishnu to have a scream fest at Times Square. I found out new things about my 3 good friends : Ariza and Khas are seriously afraid of ghosts, spirits and things touching them out of no where, and that Raja, (Raja - the one who acts all machoistic) is actually afraid of heights. :) Good thing they have nothing on me now.

Here are some pictures from the oh-so-memorable event:

And of course, credit must be given to the durable photographer who could take all those pictures with no complaints - Vishnu :)

The group, minus the photographer: Me, Ariza, Raja and Khas.

We decided to cut to the chase and head for the ganas-est ride : The DNA mixer. What was totally freaky was that Raja's phone fell out of his pocket, while the machine was still in motion. He had to drop his foot on it so that it wouldn't fall to the ground and break into pieces.

And the worst part is ... (yes Raja, this must be announced) RAJA CRIED AFTER THE RIDE! Of course, he denies it, as any man who would like to keep there machoness in tact :) But guess what Raja, you ain't fooling me.

Raja had to be forced to go on the roller coaster. I think that was his biggest fear. Thankfully, he really did enjoy himself and the 5 of us went for another round. During our second round, Ariza came up with a brilliant-beyond-brilliant *cue the light bulb* idea of showing the middle finger to the camera that takes pictures during the ride. We all did, and when the ride was finally over, we went down to see how the picture turned out. Well guess what. They sensored us.

We burst into laughter and tried persuading the lady at the counter to at least sell us the picture, and that she needn't display it. With a hard face she refused. She was probably thinking - "Apa le budak budak ni. Tak berbudi bahasa langsung"

My momma should be so proud.

After a long day of screaming, we walked around times and did some shopping :) I got what I wanted, as usual. Everything I wanted at the price I wanted. Times has never let me down.

Following that monday, on Wednesday morning, daddy flew back in. My sister and I had decided not to follow our mother to pick him up; Excuse me, judgers out there, he wanted us to be up and awake at 5 in the morning. What would you do? But anyhow, in order to keep tensions between the family under control, I decided to play the "I love you daddy, I miss you daddy" card. As soon as I woke up, I went to my parents room and jumped on their bed. They were there watching the last few hours of Barrack Obama's inauguration so I knew I wasn't intruding. My sister came along a few minutes later; all 4 of us lay in bed, staring at the telly. :)

Just how family's should be on an early Wednesday morning.

That evening, we went to PJ to meet up with cousins to meet up with our friends from Vanuatu in Klang. It was crazy. By the time we got to Klang with the cuh-razy jam it was already 9. And I had curfew at 12 - yeah, let natasha have the late curfew; just cause she's 2 yrs older than me

We ended up ditching the curfew rule and went out till abt 2 in the morning :) It sure was an enjoyable night with Penny and Parviz. Driving in the streets of KL, parentless and at a fantastic speed.

Pictures will be uploaded. Eventually.

Following the 21st, the 23rd was my closest friend - Therry's 18th birthday! Didn't do anything for him yet because he's in *cue bad music - dum dum dum* National Service. Awful National Service. :( But oh well, Happy 18th my friend. Hope you had a good one.

The 24th involved me attending a Bahai Wedding in Rembau, all because my dad was hosting it and it was my relative entering the realm of holy matrimony. Out of the predicted number of 1200 people attending, roughly 300 people only made it. Half of which, were family. That's what you get for having it during the Chinese New Year weekend. Hah.

At the wedding, I spoke to my friend, Ruzbih about the idea of a safety net. Safety net - a friend that you will marry not for the sex, but for the companionship; a friend that you feel you can live with after you've passed the point of dating, all to avoid being matchmade by your parents.

I have a safety net. So should you.

Straight after the wedding, we shot back home and packed up for our 4 day trip up north. 2 days after staying in Alor Setar and collecting more than enough angpow's, we headed for my beloved thailand. :) Ah, thailand. How I missed you.

2 days and 1 night was all we had. We took our chances and bought what we could. I love thailand. 6 shirts, 3 jeans, a pair of sunnies, 2 bags and RM 170 later, we came home. My weekend has never been more successful. :)

As always, pictures will be uploaded.
When the time seems right :)

And now, lunch with a friend.

I knew 2009 couldn't fail me.

Cheers to ya.

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

Randoms, habits and goals - Jess

2009-01-18T01:04:00.004+08:00

Directions : Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a post with sixteen random things, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose five people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don’t forget to leave a comment (“You’re tagged!”), and to read your blog, you can’t tag a person who tagged you. Since you can’t tag me, let me know when you’ve posted your blog, so I can see your weirdness.

Fact 1 : I love breaking rules. After all, rules are made to be broken.

Fact 2 : I can't dance for my life. I refuse to dance anywhere, with anyone. Be it with a guy I like, or just my friends. Occasionally, when I'm in a good mood, I allow some exceptions.

Fact 3 : I love rock music ... somewhere between 30 seconds to Mars and Paramore.

Fact 4 : I do community service every Thursday at a low cost housing area in Taman Cuepacs Bt 12, teaching english and losing my voice at the same time

Fact 5 : I can play the piano, but I have never owned a piano. I have a keyboard, but it is no longer out for display

Fact 6 : I have 70 family members. In total.

Fact 7 : I want to buy 8 new pairs of shoes and 8 statement tee's before the year ends

Fact 8 : I took 8 pills today because I had a sore throat. I did not tell my parents. I don't know if there'll be any side effects.

Fact 9 : I messed up my semester 1 exams.

Fact 10 : My best friend is Diane Nerissa Kurian.

Fact 11 : I wish I was allowed to drive alone

Fact 12 : I stopped crying over guys.

Fact 13 : I'm in love with someone

Fact 14 : I believe there is a possibility for the whole world to change in the next decade.

Fact 15 : I will be married by the time I'm 28

Fact 16 : I love my other best friend. Who is a guy. *duh*

I tag

Feera, because I've never tagged her before.
Ariza, because I know she's bored half the time.
Joo Lee, because she had many things the world wants to know
Saktia, because she warned me she'd tag me soon, so I wanna get to it before she does :P
and Ronald, because his name came to my mind

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

Mi Familia

2009-01-17T21:44:00.018+08:00

I have been doing absolutely nothing today. As much as the exams are over, I've been wasting my time away, at home. Though I had a chance at spending my day with the great outdoors, I decided to stay indoors, with the comfort of my beloved computer. Man. I totally need a life.

So, anyways, I've been a blogger for nearly two months now, I've realized one thing. I haven't introduced myself before. As much as there's the whole 'about me' section in my blog, its simply obvious I didn't really do much with it.

So, here I go. Me: Nadia Suchen Ambigaibalan. A proud Chindian who loves traveling, sleeping and hanging out with people. I am a Bahai. I don't drink. I love music. I'm a lover of all things Paramore, but with limits. I live for my family and friends. I live to send the message of one common faith. One step at a time.

I owe many people for who I am today.

My high school friends

My college mates

My Bahai friends

My cousins

My family

At most, I owe my life to my family. My direct family. Mentioning the word 'family' to me would actually mean, to me, my entire extended family. I have a lot of respect for my entire family, and I love them all very much. All, meaning all 70 of them. I have a fairly large family, all because my dad was graciously gifted with 9 other siblings, and my mom with 3 others. Both sides of my family are close to me, in fact, they're both close to each other! :)

The 'direct' family I would actually be referring too is the tiny little one, consisting of a small number of 4. My parents, and my sister.

The story behind my parents is a typical love story. My parents met when they were about 5 or 6, at a Bahai children's class. They were both from the same community and eventually, the started dating when they were in the middle of high school. They finally got married when they turned 24, and moved to Macau where my dad wanted to pioneer. Dad eventually got a job as a secretary and a subtitle writer-person thing. Mom had a better job at the time. As what, I am not sure. Following their arrival in Macau, my sister was born, and myself two years later. Dad officially got his PhD the year I was born and our family experienced a great turn. Dad got a job as an assistant lecturer, and over some time got bumped up to an official lecturer.

He was offered another job, and the whole family moved to New Zealand. I was 4. Two years after working at his new job, dad decides our education is important and feels like knowing our culture would help build character. So dad decides to shift back to Malaysia. (imagine my confusion as a child) 9 years living in Malaysia, dad gets a new job offer in Shanghai. We take the offer and head there, only to have me and my sister fleeing back home with our tails between our legs. *shakes head* We barely managed 6 months there.

And now, here we are, me and my sister. In Malaysia, studying at the same University. Talk about being inseperable.

But I love my family.

My dad, Prof. Bala Ramasamy. :) A professor in one of the top ten business schools in the world, China Europe International Business School (CEIBS). He is the person I am proud to call his daughter. I love him to bits just because he is the way he is. He does his best to keep me happy, and challenges me so I will achieve greatness. He sacrifices much for me: time, money, his sanity.

He can be one wacky person when he sees I'm down in the dumps. He makes my world.

My mom, Judy Phung Li Lian. A ... uh... well, I was never sure what exactly she was. She kept switching jobs over a period of time, and right now, she's a stay at home mom. There's a reason why I didn't use the term 'housewife'. You do the math. Mom has a complete obsession of everything expect my sister and I, in a nice kinda way. She still plays the mom role - checks up on me, irritates my life, etc. However, she's got this major fish - clean the house - the plants should not die fettish. Whenever she calls me and my sister from Shanghai, the first thing she checks on is the fish and the plants.

We (natasha and I) decided to try and get rid of the fish so there'd be less responsibilities and mom would get off our case. We had a huge success with the plants. Not watering it for days does amazing things :P. So, the fish? Yeah, we stopped filling the tank. But it didn't die. We didn't feed it for two weeks. And it still didn't die. Stupid fish.

So nat and I call him Cactus now.

All because the idiot

just

wouldn't

die

Fish. Can't count on em'.

And lastly, my sister and my partner in crime. Natasha Sulin Ambigaibalan. Extremely goofy and irritating at the same time. Totally book smart, but has the attention span of a teaspoon. I care for her, in some sense, and can't stand her either. She's a great friend in a sense that she pretends to hear me when I'm talking to her. She drives me to places (because she doesn't trust me driving), she cooks for me, and she's the only one thats there for me now. With my parents gone, it's just me and her most of the time.

We have a love hate relationship. We can't be within body contact with each other, so there hardly are any pictures of just me and her together. We usually get forced by our parents to take pictures. She also has this weird over-protectiveness thing over me, that even she cant explain. Subconsciously, she REALLY cares for me (though she continuously denies such things). When we were kids, ALL our pictures had her holding on to me. Like I'd run away or something. Till now, we can't cross the road without her immediately grabbing my wrist and pulling me across.

Ah.

Sisterly love.

My family. My love. My life. You can't live with em', you can't live without em'.

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

Freedom

2009-01-16T11:22:00.003+08:00

Well, give it 5 hours, and I'll officially be off examination's leash. For this semester. *bummer* Oh well, I think I see a good two weeks coming around soon. :) Meeting people, travelling... yup. Definately a good 2 weeks coming along.

With one set back.

Dentist appointments. *sigh* Darn the government and their long lists for all things dental. I actually went to the dentist 3 years ago. When I was 16. And had low self-esteem. My parents, as cheap-skate as they are, decided to allow me to get braces, but only if we did it with a government orthodontist. Did you know that its supposed to be cheaper? Kinda obvious. (ooh, I just studied this in econs! :P Something to do with positive externalities, right?) But, the small little thing they fail to mention till you get there is that, once you go for your first appointment, you have to wait 3 years for your next appointment. 3 years on a stupid waiting list. Of course, I've already settled with who I am and I'm quite satisfied with myself. Regret, oh regret.

Me and my stupid 16 year old mind.

Enough complaining. Parviz and Penny, my two Malaysian-Vanuatuan friends are coming by next week! Its really exciting. I haven't seen them for nearly 2 years! After our amazing trip to Turkey together, its really nice to make new friends, and even more amazing when they come back to visit! :) oh joy.

Saving the best for last, guess what. I'm going to Thailand again! With family this time! *jumps* Totally wicked, 'cause I haven't been there for nearly 5 months now. But its not going be the same place this time. We're hitting Hat Yai and Krabi this time. We've done Hat Yai before but the only reason why we're doing it this time is cause its been ages since we did it last and me and my sister need a major change of our wardrobe. Hat Yai's a great place to get it started.

Krabi is something I'm looking forward to. Can you believe with all the times I've been to Thailand, never once have I been to their beaches? (besides songkla) This time, I'm ready to get a real good tan. I'll probably end up coming back looking like a lobster.

That's all for now. I still have that excruciatingly irritating economics paper I have to study for, and as a fact, I know having my notes in front of me with blogger on is not gonna get me anywhere.

Ta!

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that

Nady

The Magnet Effect

2009-01-12T01:24:00.004+08:00

Feera and I were having a lil chat, and I came upon a brilliant discovery. Something I think a majority of people go through: The magnet effect.

Now, what is the magnet effect? Well, it actually has nothing to do with magnets. From personal experience, and from other reliable sources, I realized that once relationships come about, there will reach a point where you may find what you would refer to as "the center of your universe". Your companion. Your best friend. Your person.

Sadly, there comes to a point, maybe one party thinks it may not work out, or things get complicated. So, things change slightly. He no longer is yours, but he still is the love of your life. So you move on, but you realize no matter what, you will always love that person. Love him more than a friend. And you will always go back to him.

This is the magnet effect.

Your magnet is your center of the universe. Thanks to a reminder from Feera, sourced by Atif, there's an interesting saying: "opposites attract". Well, my dear friends. lets look at some magnets, shall we?

Imagine. You and your partner are opposites. Same in nature, but different in character. Magnets. Attracted to each other.

But, well. There are certain situations, certain exceptions that may change this theory. There are times when more than one magnet exists for a person. From personal experience, once again, having two magnets is not impossible. Using the "opposites attract" concept, we can logically say that our magnet is our opposite, right? well, wouldn't that mean if we had two magnets, those two magnets would be identical in force?

Now, keep in mind, this doesnt mean these two people are identical in character because they definately are not, but im sure you get the gist of it all.

Put it this way. Having two magnets is a little hectic.

Oh, and there's also the question of the power of the magnets. Some people may think a person is the center of their universe, but that feeling may disappear in a short period of time. This, is how powerful your magnet is. A weak magnet goes easy. A strong one can last a life time.

The Magnet Effect.

This is what I do at 1 in the morning, hours before my exams. *tsk tsk* Nadia, nadia.

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady.

My heart will go on

2009-01-12T00:35:00.003+08:00

Instead of being a productive college students undergoing finals, I practically wasted my time today. Staring at number has never felt this boring to me. And I actually love math! It sucks that my perceptions on some things have changed. I stopped writing, stopped enjoying math exercises and stopped doing the best I can. I sure am a disappointment to my parents now.

I watched Titanic a couple of hours ago.

A sappy love story, that actually feels close to home. Not in "the upper-class lower-class ex-lover will shoot your current lover dead" type of way, but in the whole being raised to meet expectations sense.

I love my parents though at times I wished they never existed. However, this movie kind of reminded me that my life is my life. And as much as I respect my parents opinions, they should be able to understand that I make decisions for myself, and they can give all the advice in the world, but they should stop expecting me to immediately obey it.

Dad and I aren't in fabulous terms like how we used to. I go against the saying "Distance makes the heart grow fonder". Dad and I have been living apart for 4 years now. The first few years went fine, since I was still a teenager bound by his laws, his rules. He wasn't around during my transition though. He wasn't there as I grew older. And I think, because of that, he's finding it hard to let me go. He lets me out and everything, but takes it to heart when I decide to stay at home than to go out with him. He fails to realize that the reason I am currently studying in Nottingham, his university of choice, even more in Business, is all because of him. I love my dad. But he can't really see that, can he.

I love you dad.
I love you, and the family.
Have faith in me.
I will carry on your legacy.
one way or another.

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

And the clock struck 3

2009-01-10T22:54:00.005+08:00

*dong dong dong*

and finals are here.

~~Accounting~~
~~IT for business~~
~~Business Math~~
~~Management~~
Economics

5 in total and I'm down to 3 now. We got 3 weeks to study, and what did I end up doing the week of the exams? Staying up late, spending hours on the computer researching, and memorizing my be-hind off.

Things I totally should have done during the semester.

Lesson well learned.

Note to self : procrastination is man's greatest enemy.

Let's study tomorrow. :)

We will never learn.

Props to my Nottingham buddies going through the aggravations we're all struggling to pull through. Once this nightmare is over we'll go party till the break of day, kay?

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that

Nady

Devon Gundry

2009-01-03T00:27:00.002+08:00

This post is devoted entirely to Devon Gundry, a man I do not know personally, but respect oh so dearly. I was introduced to his music several months ago, but thanks to certain people performing it recently at a conference, I have a new found love towards it. Based on the Bahai Writtings:

"Armed with the power of Thy Name, nothing can ever hurt me and with Thy Love in my heart, all the world's afflictions can in no wise alarm me."

Of all things lovely, this takes the top notch in my book.

from the same man, but for a Dove adverd instead. I thought it was nice. :)

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

Conferences, Confetti, Congregations.

2009-01-02T11:26:00.007+08:00

2008.

You were good.

But 09's gonna be better. Mark my words.

The year end was a blast though. Things went well straight after Christmas. Party's, late nights, friends, and family. I'd say that's the way to end a year with a bang.

Things have been going fantastically. I have to keep mentioning that because its not everyday something like that happens. Especially over a long period of time.

The Bahai Regional Conference took place over the recent weekend and it was, well... intriguing. Distractions came up. I guess the fantastic thing about conferences is the part where you get to know some people you were never close to. Oh, plus the fact that I secretly drove my sister's car :) We took it out for a drive and managed to get it back in the same parking lot and she didnt notice a thing! Exhilaration hit me like a bomb driving at an uncredited speed. No hill became a barrier to me. Those 4 unmentionable people in the car with me will never look at me the same. No one can classify me in the same category as my sister now.

And then, came about the 29th of December! :) My baby cousin, Armand had his naming ceremony which makes no sense whatsoever since he had a name from birth. I will never understand the idea of a naming ceremony. Society nowadays.

But this boy, he is the apple of my eyes. If I ever where to have a child any time soon, he would be it. My ideal boy. Sleeps through anything. Dodgeball. Balloon pops. Now there's something he picked up from his father.

Aint he just cute! Armand Jarrah Taraz. My sweetheart. Adorable face. Adorable name.

The 30th changed my life forever. Youth Conferences were meant to inspire. This conference did more than that. It has made me change my entire future plan. And I'm thankful such a thing happen. 400 people all piled into a hall meant only for 300. It was amazing. Who knew the Klang Valley had that many youth to begin with! The aftermath was what I enjoyed the most. Swimming through the sea of people, 7 cars worth of people managed to break through and make their way to the nearest mamak stall. 30 people. 8 tables. And then the power went out. The mamak dudes had dollar signs in their eyes. We were their jackpot. But it was amazing. Having that many people on one table was so much fun.

The dark forces. :) It's nice to have friends.

New years eve was technically reasonable. Spending time with family has been occurring too many times last year we were sorta getting sick of seeing each other. But, my sister and I knew how much it means to dad when we stick as a family, so we didnt complain. Watching Pirates of the Caribbean 1 and bits of 3 killed a little time. Plus, playing mafia, pictionary, jin and hook. Cards saved our lives.

And at the stroke of midnight, fireworks could be seen through branches of trees. It was the end of 08 and the beginning of 09. We stuffed our mouths with 12 grapes. A family tradition in hopes each grape will bring upon a better month. Confetti blasted from small containers holding no effect except temporary irritation to one another. And that was it. The new year had arrived. and this time, I was ready for it.

New years day was spent sleeping in and shopping. Times Square was packed with people, signs posted saying SALE, plastic bags rustling filled with attire. Joy oh joy. 1st of January marked my paternal grandfather's birthday. A yearly affair, the whole family met up for prayers and then played a joyous round of captain ball. Married vs. unmarried. With a few traitors, the grounds became even and the games began. Adults used their greatest weapon upon the girls. SWEAT. They were drenched with sweat and used it to their advantage. It was disgusting. But fun anyhow.

Last night, was a party at Neeshantin's, a childhood friend who recently found her way into my group by closely associating herself with a certain someone. The night was fairly enjoyable. I met up with old primary school mates: Jeanette, Shalini, Amrita, and Amrit. Reminising old times, we became grandmothers, talking about the past. A certainly appreciative feeling. Girls, I love you all! :) After many had left and mostly Bahai's were left, we had our usual tea (in this case coffee) drinking session. Sipping coffee from mugs, we sat down and had what Sayshan refers to as "pillow talk". Pictures will be added when possible.

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

Lose my Breath

2008-12-30T09:17:00.002+08:00

Tagged by Jesslyn

My first tag ever. :) Thanks Jess.

Bold the statements that are true;
Italicize the statements you wish were true;
Leave the fibs alone
Then, stab 5 people to do the tag.

I'm 170 cm + tall.
I don't know what I want at the moment.
I'm not happy.
I hate my friends.
He drives.
I'm bored of driving.
I go clubbing every week.
Shopping is bullshit.
I have a tattoo of a star.
I got my navel pierced.

I have friends that take drugs.
90% of my friends smoke.
I have a business running.
I hate cartoons.
I hate someone.
I have 10 handbags.
I buy PLAYBOY/PLAYGIRL every month.
My school mates know about my blog.
I wanted to be a fashion designer.
Wanted, past tense.

I love emo rock bands.
I hate it when people cancel last minute meet ups.
I'm a rebel.
I started wearing dresses.
High school's filled with drama.
My parents have faith in me.
Maybe a little too much faith.
I've bought shoes this month.
I hate sports.
I heart Italian food.

I hate meeting new people.
I hate nail polish.
The mother bear gives me hugs.
People should start appreciating me.
High school was the worst time of my life.
I have cool hair.
One Utama is my second home.
I'm a guy.
I'm scared of my biology exam.
I hate vacations.

We'll last.
I believe in long distance relationships.
I'm going to get high and smoke weed one day soon.
I've robbed an old lady.
I was stupid.
At times I think I still am stupid.
I hate surprise parties. I hate planning parties.
I'm a sinner.
I have Wii.
I can't live without music.

Video games are a waste of time.
I miss the father bear.
I love being in love.
I know how to cook.
I have 100% freedom.
I hate math.
I love horror films.
I'm happy with what I have.
I slept in my parents room for 3 days after watching Scream when I was a kid.
My old friends keep in touch with me.

I don't read the newspapers.
The news is such a waste of time.
Blogging is a waste of time.
I hate animals.
I can't live without make-up.
I curse like a pirate.
I'm happy with my 11 year old car.
I hate people that are smart.
I love apple juice.
I can't drink for nuts.

I believe that everyone in their teens have lost their virginity.
I've got a new phone.
I'm going to get a new pair of shoes by the end of this month.
I love clubbing.
I haven't worked out since March.
I love my family and friends.
I'm hot.
What can I say? I'm sexy.

Another tag by Jesslyn

i. Put your iTunes/any other players on shuffle.
ii. for each question, press the next button to get your answer.
iii. you must write that song name down no matter how silly it sounds!
iv. tag 11 friends who might enjoy doing this.

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
- My All by Mariah Carrey.

"cause I'm drowned in you
and I won't pull through
without you by my side"

the irony.

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
- Ready, set, don't go by Billy Ray Cyrus and Miley Cyrus.

3.WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
- Hells over head by Boys like Girls.

"'Cause you're always on my mind
And I'm running out of time"

4.HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
-Itu Kamu by Estranged.

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE PURPOSE?
- Into my web by The Used.

"Do you feel stuck? It's all in your head
Mindless, I'm fading.
I miss the other flies, already dead
I caught some, and left one."

Life's all about em' flies.

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO
- Thanks for the memories by Fall Out Boy.

"Let the good times roll."

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
- Sempurna by Andra & the Backbone.

How sweet can that be?

8. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
- Goodbye by Secondhand Serenade.

"And every, everything isn't only what it seems
So hope these words you never told me
It's time to say goodbye, it's time to say goodbye,
It time to say goodbye, goodbye, goodbye."

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
- Home by Boyce Avenue.

10. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
- The Great Escape by Boys like Girls.

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR BEST FRIEND?
- Leavin' by Jesse McCartney.

12. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
- Bring me to life by Evanescence.

"Make me real, bring me to life."

13. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
- For you I will by Teddy Gieger.

14. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE AT YOUR WEDDING?
- Butterfly by Jason Mraz.

"Your talk is all your talk, sister you've got it all."

15. WHAT WILL PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
- Play my music by the Jonas Brothers.

"Hand clapping, hip shaking, heart breaking,
there's no faking what you feel
when you're right at home."

16. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/ INTEREST?
- Get up by Ciara.

17. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
- Pocketfull of sunshine by Natasha Bedingfield.

Thats what I've been hiding. My pocket and its shine.

18. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
- No one by Alicia Keys

"People keep talking
They can say what they like
But all I know is
Everythings gonna be alright"

19. WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
- Sweetest girl by Boyce Avenue.

20. HOW WILL YOU DIE?
- I caught Fire by the Used.

Oh.
No more playing with fire for me.

21. DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
- All we know by Paramore.

22. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
- Flavor of the week by American Hi-Fi.

"It's Friday night and she's all alone."

Relevance creeps upon me. *shiver*

23. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
- Heart Aint A Brain by Chris Brown.

"It can be love right?"

24. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
- Lose my Breath by Destiny's Child.

I close my eyes, and the next thing ... WHOOSH. I didn't see what hit me

2008-12-25T12:36:00.007+08:00

Glorious music. Enrapturing emotions. Boy. It was one interesting weekend.

Bring on the flash backs :)

Friday

Exam halls. Papers. Big clocks. Dim lights. Not a good combination for an English final examination. Nottingham gave us a start by having our last English exam for the semester in no place other than the Great Hall. Talk about Harry Potterness.

Of course. It was English. What can be expected done when its English? So what did we do? We lazed. We looked like a bunch of junkies, completely high. I guess the whole sleep deprivation we were all experiencing due to our assignments kinda showed on our faces.

Lazing on Nottingham's admin building floor. Now thats something to talk about. Lazing. It's what we do best.

And then of course, you have the band practice that night that went on till' one in the morning. Obviously mom went off the charts with it. Typical.

Saturday

The day of the performance. Annexe gallery. Arts for Grabs.

And moral studies finals.

Ms. Evans and her lack of being considerate. Sigh. 75 questions of pure nonsense. Everyone exited the exam hall with a blank expression. When asked, how'd it go? The common reply: Oh. It was fine.

Sarcastically.

My sister and I made our way to the annexe gallery and the place did not disappoint. Feera. We have to have prom here. We have to. It was a gorgeous place. The performances went well. We had loads of fun doing it. A lot of the times we messed up because we burst out laughing due to the fact that we were constantly lost for words. But all in all, people liked us. They liked the songs we did. And I guess what matters the most is that we had fun. Something I haven't had in a long time.

Plus. Arts for Grabs was having an Aikido exhibition, training thing that Thessa, Jie (my sister) and I took part in. We learnt how to defend ourselves if we get attacked. Flipping people is fun.

No one was hurt. Neither was I.

Sunday

Sunday was a disappointment. I didn't follow through with my performances. I bailed. Well, not willingly. I fell sick.

Cough.

Sneeze.

Tough luck. Dad came home anyways. We went through our regular 'welcome back home dad' routine and went for early morning Dim Sum. Who can complain? That night it was my beloved cousin, Arvin's 21st birthday, and the whole family came together and celebrated it with him. Later on, Transformers was playing on TV but the uncles and aunts wanted to spend quality time together. It was hilarious. The cousins formed a force field around the TV to protect the off button, but dad just walked through and switched it off.

Thanks to Praveena, we had rounds of charades. Something we haven't done as a huge family for sometime. Best part, Praveena is a specimen I will never try to understand who has a creativity scope of an elephant. Her categories were mind blowing. A town in Malaysia, historical landmarks, song titles from the 80's. You try acting stuff like that out.

The rest of the week

Shopping. Singing. "Studying".

Wow. 3 s's.
That was unexpected.

Sales everywhere. I couldn't resist. What with the walking wallet (dad) permitting me to purchase whatever I wanted.

The Bahai Regional Conference is coming up. Bring on the choir practices. The ushering tasks. The outbursts of incontrollable children. crap. I feel faint.

Jan 8. And so the finals begin. No holidaying around this year.

And I'm still captivated by you. And you know it.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

And the end has come.

2008-12-18T09:23:00.009+08:00

This is it. 3 more days. 3 more days and the torture is over. 3 more days.

College. Couldn't wait for it in high school. Can't wait to get out of it when its over. sheesh.

10 commitments. (2 presentations + 1 demonstration +7 assignments) later.

Wanna know what mankind's biggest problem is? The disability to be satisfied. Many would agree with me when I say that when in high school, we cant wait to get out of the uniformity and the tight discipline; all to get into college and party till' the break of dawn. Well, my wee friends out there who think this is so now ... Guess what. Think again. College life? Well, yeah, there's the parties and the societies and the awesome people. But we tend to forget the other important things. Things like never-ending lectures and frazzling assignments. Not forgetting the dreaded presentations. Dressing in a formal attire isn't something I'd complain about, obviously. I mean, looking at all those guys with em' snazzy outfits, that's fabulous ... but getting an outfit that works? It may look easy, but trust me, it's not. I know a number of people, girls in specific who had to peak into their mom's closet and work something out.

But anyhow, thats college for you.

Now, in the past week, I have been, of course, busy working on those nauseating assignments, but I did manage to fit in some time to do some other things, thankfully. :) Last night for instance. I spent 8 hours not doing my work. and you know what? I'm proud that I did! Instead of putting my head into them books, I had a band (well sort of a band. do you call it a band if they're all guitarists? :P) practice. I had some fun at it. Seeing my old high school mates after a much prolonged time. My boys from may back when. Hard to believe we started performing about 3 years ago. The boys saw mom and the conversation went a lil' ... strange.

Mom: "Oh, you boys are here!"
Nadia: "Yes mom, you can go now." (she was heading out)
Mom: "So have I met you boys before?"
Hazreen: "Yes aunty. You have."
Nadia: "Yeah mom. Like three years ago."
Mom: "And where was this?"
Nadia: "They performed with me. Three years ago. You were there. You watched."
Mom: "I did?"
Nadia: "Yes mom. You did."

There we go. There's mom's short term memory for you.

8 hours later, we didn't see much progress. With the fact that all our music tastes were completely different: Joel and his love of emo pop rock, Hazreen's way-back-when music and love for all things Metallica, plus Leong and his confused knowledge of the music world. Amazing how I managed to team up with them.

But still, I love em' boys. Thanks for letting me be apart of everything! :)

OOH!, big update. Come to the annexe gallery this weekend on the 20th and the 21st for the arts for grabs christmas special! I'm performing a couple of songs on both days so come and support! :) Its something I've never done before, and I'm pretty nervous about it. Come, come! :)

It's gonna be pretty awesome. There's a bazaar selling loads of stuff. plus, the cafe I'm performing at! :)

Here's the map in case you're actually planning on coming. :D

So come one, come all!

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

Cotton madness

2008-12-14T12:08:00.007+08:00

In two days, I have spent more than 15 hours on the computer, still working on my stupid self-assess portfolio. That’s more hours than what I did last semester. *knocks head on table*

I’m pooped.

But I gotta, say: as much as yesterday got my butt all sore sitting, I had a lil’ fun. We had Moral Studies yesterday and it was a bit crazy. Ms. Evans of course with the usual chatter about what it is to be a ‘moral person’. Like we don’t know already. You don’t see her murdered do you? She was such a biatch yesterday to Jesslyn and Szelin. Szelin had a dentist appointment that she’d been putting off for a couple of weeks but did Ms. Evans let her do it? Nope. The evil hag decided to publicly shout at her in front of everyone claiming that she should’ve changed it a long time ago. And Jesslyn, well, Jess, you and I both know you’re about 30% wrong :P But don’t worry dear, I’m behind you still. I wish she’d change that final test to Friday or something.

After her lecture had ended, all the presentations began and I guess that’s where all the fun began. Jess, Wynn, my sister and I weren’t in the mood for lunch so we stayed in the lecture room. Jess had some games on her computer and one in specific got my sister crazy: Burger Shop.

Lol, you should’ve been there. You had Jess at the back acting as though her life depended on the game

Jess: “Natasha! The old man is gonna go!

Nat: "I'm trying!

Jess: “Give the guy some cookies!”

Nat: “I’m giving! I’m giving!"

Tze Yi: “The guy gonna die already...”

Nat: “It’s a computer game. Where got all this die die all. The fella gonna leave only.”

And yes. That is the extremely odd conversation that occurred during moral studies. How stupid can things get?

Later that afternoon, things got worst. My sister and I were in a wacky mood, so we stopped at a petrol station and bought some cotton candy and corn. I'm a cotton candy addict.

Cotton candy shoots straight up to my brain. My sister had already started driving when my crazyness kicked in. Sadly, I have a bad habit of taking her food and tasting it, but this time my sister refused to let me do it. So she and I had a hilarious battle in the car with me attempting to put cotton candy on her face and her defending her corn.

Later in the day, Thessa came over :) It's been probably 6 months since I last saw her, so I was glad I did. We talked for a couple of hours and caught up with things. That's one girl I will always love hanging around with.

You gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

Foggy Eyes

2008-12-12T21:21:00.006+08:00

Sipping my peppermint tea, in a glass flask, looking up for meaning of words like rapacious and recalcitrant. God. Talk about my boring Friday night. Sheesh.

Oh, did you know eyeballs can get fogged up? I just did it. Trust me. It works. :P

This self-assess English portfolio thing is a pain in the butt. One would think once you can speak English, you need not study it anymore. Boy was i wrong. But, credit goes to Ms. A for getting my attention back to the subject. After all, were it not for her, I wouldn't dream of actually placing some form of effort on the portfolio.

But jeez louise.

Portfolios?

Never again.

Ever.

Anywho ... After classes today Sze Lin send me to Leisure Mall where i got my hands on some elianto products :) Make up, nail polish... ooh. a girl's paradise. Best part: I met an old debate apprentice of mine, Vivien, who happened to be the salesgirl there. Sad to say, due to the fact that I knew her, she managed to persuade me to buy more than I needed. But hell, I ain't complaining.

20 minutes later it became Nadia plus 4 new nail polishes, nail polish remover, pressed powder, foundation cream, bronzer, facial cleanser, toner and moisturizer.

forgive the bad photography skills. still in the learning stages :(

trust me.

you don't wanna know how much it came up to.

oh. and this has to be said.

Ariza Ariza! look at the new nail polish i bought! :)

you gotta like the sound of that.

Nady

My beloved

2008-12-12T17:03:00.002+08:00

This first post is devoted entirely to my recent fiancé:

ms. Wan Ili Elfeera

my partner in crime of constant cartoon blabbing and book thrashing.

This is the woman I absolutely adore. (plus the others in my life: Ariza and Khas, don't get offended kay'!) The oddity behind it all is the fact that I only met this woman 8 months ago. Thankfully, she's there for me through and through, be it whether its time for those ruddy assignment or my plain old PMS-days.

With that, Feera - pip - chuckles. Thank you. For dealing with my stupidity involving all things blog-like. :)

woman.
I owe you.
You, me and a chocolate candy bar.

you gotta like the sound of that.

Nady