Lower than the lowest

Clearly my last post explains the immense fury I have towards all things exam related. What may seem shocking is that I have yet to get over my failure. With a whopping 51% average in my First year, first sem, my parents have decided not to give me the benefit of the doubt and instead, have made my life a living hell. Accusations of my tendency to put things unimportant in life above those which are sent me down a never-ending battle with depression. A rough two weeks have passed by, and while others have started to move on and work on doing better for the current semester, here I am still overwhelmed by my past. It has effected practically everything to do with me.

With parental threats to permanently remove me from my University, I struggle to get a grip of my life once again, indulging myself with habits that I am not proud of. Losing weight at a drastic rate, my health issues have emerged once again, also putting me in an undesired mental state. The friends I once felt close have been there for me, but not to the major extent that I would like them to be. People have been understanding on my part towards the unrealistic conclusions my parents have made, yet that will not change much.

In a few months from now, torture will be my best friend with the permanent return of those I'm made to call my "parents". Suicide will be on the top of my "to-do" list as my father is applying to be a professor at the University I currently study at. With the absence of my sister come September, life will be as a reality tv-show filled with constant quarrels.


Ah.





So this is what I have to expect for 2010.
Splendid.